I surrender (Jennifer Jareau x reader)

Soon you'll get better

(JJ's POV)

It's been three days and Francesca still hasn't woken up yet. I'm not losing hope but the words „if she wakes up" said by that doctor keep replying in my mind. I barely slept since she's in the hospital. I feel like I'm in some kind of a movie. Everything is just so fuzzy.

I couldn't go visit her today because I had to go to work and when I was done the visiting hours were over. Emily wanted to come over this evening. I was just taking a shower when I heard knocking. I yelled for her to come in and got dressed quickly.

„Hey," I said sitting on the couch and patting a spot next to me.

She just gave me a small smile and sat down. I gave her a glass of wine and played a movie. There were no words said because they didn't need to be. Until I screwed everything up when the movie ended.

„I talked to Amelia today," Emily told me, „she said it's not uncommon for her to still be in a coma, but if she stays that way she'll start thinking about other measures."

„What measures?" I wondered.

„Surgery. She told me the details but I can't for the life of me repeat that to you. She's hopeful though so that's good," my friend said.

And I kissed her. I grabbed her face in my hands and kissed her. Immediately, she pulled away. I looked at her and she stood up.

She looked at me for a few seconds before saying, „Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital to Francesca and we will pretend like this never happened."

With that she left and I kept looking at the door for a while. When I realized what I had done I felt disgusted. My girlfriend was lying in the hospital and I go kissing her friend. What the hell is wrong with me?

I got up and looked at our pictures on the walls of our home. I'm about to lose it all when she finds out. Emily said not to tell her but I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I want to.

I called Penelope to ask if she could come over for a while to watch the kids. She agreed. After that was taken care of I drove to the hospital. It was a good while after midnight so of course they wouldn't let me in. I used my badge, I know I'm not supposed to do that but at this point, who cares?

I walked in her room and sat on the chair. I couldn't bring myself to even hold her hand, thinking about how I just betrayed her not even an hour ago. Would she forgive me? How can I explain to her why I did it if I don't even know?

I knew I needed to be there for her now so I got over myself and took her hand in mine. I thought for a minute before I started talking.

„Uh, I don't know if you can hear me, but I really need you to wake up Fran. I've never felt anything like this you know? With anyone. Uh," I started.

„It's just so hard, you know? I never knew I could fall so hard but I did and the thought that I might not get you back is killing me. I know you um, I know it's probably taking a lot in you to fight. I know it probably hurts a lot and it's taking everything, but you never give up. Please don't start now. You better be fighting, not just for me but for you. I don't wanna sound selfish but you can't do this to me Fran, you have to wake up," I continued.

„So um, if there's any way that you can hear me right now, give me something. Please. You're perfect, perfect for me and just perfect in general. I couldn't imagine a better woman to call mine if I wanted to. I love you. So I swear if you wake up I'm gonna be the best girlfriend this damn world has ever seen," I told her and waited for a few second before getting up.

When I got to the door something caught my attention.

(Your POV)

„I'm gonna be the best girlfriend this damn world has ever seen," I heard JJ say.