The Boss

Chapter 38

I laid on his chest, the aftermath of what we had just done replaying in my mind. I had missed him so much and I didn't even realize exactly how much until this moment. His strong arms wrapped around me, pressing me closer making me feel cherished, loved, safe.

"I never forgot," I muttered into his chest. Maybe it was the situation or the feelings that reeled through me but he had a right to know.

"What?" He asked softly, tilting my face to look at him.

"I never forgot, about you, about us." I whispered. Looking into his eyes, I felt my walls breaking. The words he had spoken earlier replayed over and over in my mind.

They had hurt but they also had melted my heart, making me remember my feelings for him. Making me acknowledge my feelings that had never truly gone away.

"Why did you leave?" He asked softly running his fingers down my spine.

I stared into his eyes, the honest question. The question I knew he was bound to ask, my one mistake.

"I was scared. We were so young and foolish, but even then I knew I wanted you." I paused watching his face.

"So you just left? No goodbye, no nothing?" He whispered I could see the hurt in his eyes, I knew that look reflected in my own.

"I knew if you were awake you would never let me leave and I needed to, I left to meet with my father. My mother had just died, Jason needed me and I needed him." I stopped as emotions overwhelmed me.

"Your inheritance," he whispered as I nodded. The night before we had met, my mother had slipped from this world taking any ounce of humanity my father may of had with her.

After she died, his cruelty knew no bounds. He blamed me, Jason and anyone else who stood in his way.

"My father knew I needed space and the whole weekend slipped by, I knew he would come looking for me. I couldn't chance that he would find me, I couldn't chance him finding you."

My father's agreement to let me have alone time came as a surprise, when he said yes I didn't waste anytime leaving that house.

"So, I left. I signed the lawyers papers and when I had the chance, I went back. To the room, hopefully to you." I closed my eyes as my memory assaulted me.

I was out of breath running up the stairs, I wanted to get back to him so fast, the elevator would have taken too long. My footsteps could be mistaken for a hundred stampeding buffalo as I raced down the hall.

My steps faltered the moment I saw the door cracked open, slowly I pushed the door open and stepped inside. His clothes were gone, the bedsheets were tangled in a mess.

A strangled cry left my lips as I saw my note left on the nightstand, two words that I had hastily written, two words that spoke volumes. My knees hit the floor as realization set in, he was gone.

I don't know how long I had sat there, letting my emotions drain me dry. The memories of our weekend etched into my mind, the way I had felt, the way we felt together.

I had gotten to my feet, automatic movements led me to the bed. I traced the sheets and made the bed slowly as I remembered how they had become so tangled.

I sat up, pulling the sheets up to my chest as tears threatened to spill out. Night had set in, the moonlight spilling across the bed. Looking at the split in the drapes, the need to tell him and the need to get away fought for dominance within me.

Standing from the bed, taking the covers with me, I grabbed the drapes and pulled them open staring up at the night sky.

"I made it to the room and found you gone, my heart ached from the loss. I mean two days, it was just two days and you had carved this place on my heart." I glanced to the bed, he had sat up legs over the edge sitting there staring at me. The look in his eyes was sorrow, lost time for us both.

"My Knight, do you know what that meant?" I asked softly tearing my gaze from his to glance up at the stars.

"No," he whispered, never moving from his spot.

"My knight. You can never understand the world I grew up in, the sacrifices I had to make. The pain that I dealt with, the pain I dealt. You were my waking memory, the memory that kept me from completely falling apart."

"My Knight in shining armor, my strength, my weakness, my secret I wanted to keep all to myself." I whispered. "My solace, in a world of darkness. I found you, someone I could be the person I had always wanted to be."

"I never wanted to lose you, yet I never wanted them to find you. I knew if I told you who I was you would have told me we could run together." My eyes met his.

"If you would have asked I would have ran with you, I wouldn't have looked back. I was afraid you would ask, yet I still came back hoping that maybe you would." I glanced away from him, too much, too soon.

Yet I found myself letting it all go, everything that I held in, everything that seeing his face for the first time in over 10 years brought to the surface.

He wasn't the only one who had regrets, I wished every day that he would come back. That i could take back the steps that led us to this place.

"I couldn't chance them finding out about you, I couldn't risk that you would be hurt because of me. I didn't want to lose you, I would have rather lived a life knowing that you were out there somewhere, than not in this world at all. I couldn't bare the thought." A small sob ripped from my throat, as his arms wrapped around me.

"I would have been able to handle myself," he whispered in my ear. "If you had asked me to, I would have taken both you and Jason out of there."

"I know that now, back then I gave you a fake name, fake home life, how was I to know that you had been real? Despite the work you do, you had been real." I turned in his arms to stare at him.

"They would have never let us go, they would have fought tooth and nail to get us back. What kind of life would that have been? One on the run, no real place to call home?"

"I came back, year after year on the day that we met. I would request that room, for two days. I would stay there watching, waiting, hoping that maybe you would come back but you never showed, not once." I stared at his bare chest, afraid to look into his eyes.

The silence stretched between us at my confession, I watched the emotions play like an open book across his face. Astonishement, sorrow, happiness and forgiveness.

"I never came back, I never wanted to. Living with those memories, it was too hard to. I bought an apartment close by, it was all that I could do." He whispered wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry," We whispered at the same time, I laughed softly as I pulled away from him slightly to look up into his face.

"I'm here now, how about we not lose any more time?" He whispered as he cupped my cheek and kissed my lips slowly.

"How long will you be here?" I asked as soon as he pulled away. He looked deep into my eyes, scanning every inch of my face.

"As long as you want me to," he whispered. It wasn't a confession of love, yet all the time we had been apart. The days we fought to ignore the feelings growing between us, it was something, a promise of more.

"That could be a really long time," I joked.

"I think I'll be up for the challenge," he smirked.

I kissed him thoroughly, passionately. It was a new beginning, for both of us.