Many times I feel like I really need someone to give me some constructive criticism so that I can find out what to improve to make my book better.
This is one of those books where you can enter your own book, and I'll do a review of it.
Just fill...
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I rate this cover a 8/10. I really liked your cover but I feel like there could be much more detail. I love how there is Percy and Annabeth on the cover. I just feel like there could be more detail to make the cover perfect.
On the cover I like the font picked for both your title and your name. I would find a way to better perfect your cover so you name isn't cut off.Maybe by moving the title to near the middle or on the necks of Percy and Annabeth so you could see it better.
But overall I like you cover and I really like what is on it.
Description: After an amazing day together, Percy and Annabeth are caught in a horrific car crash. How will it effect everyone they hold dear to them, including each other?
I rate this description a 6.5/10. This description doesn't have as much detail as it should. Descriptions are meant to draw your reader in with a short summary about what the book is going to be about.
I like that your description does have the plot written into it but don't you think it can have more detail?
When writing a description try to picture the back of your favorite book which has the description on it. Don't you read the back and get excited for what you're going to read? But when you have a only 2 short sentences do you feel like you're going to read the book. Personally I would probably skip right over a book with a short description and look for a nice juicy short paragraph description that makes me want to jump right in.
Book rating: I rate Why us? a 8.5/ 10 which is really good considering hardly anyone ever gets 9 or 10's.
In your book you were very descriptive and it made me really picture what was going on in your story and what the characters were reading.
You're a really good writer when it comes to suspense and describing. That is a skill mostly everyone doesn't have as when they're trying to write suspense it's just cringey and awkward, because they're trying too hard.
In chapter 2, try to space out your paragraphs a little bit more. You have really long paragraphs which is good because it shows you're putting a lot of detail in. But it just looks crummy and too spaced together. So just try to separate your sentences into more paragraphs.
In one of the chapters Jack was looking at Percy and Annabeth as they were pulling them out of the crashed car. Jack just suddenly knew that Percy and Annabeth were 18. This doesn't make any sense considering he doesn't even know who they are.
So since Jack isn't psychic try going back and maybe putting that they are around 18. It's not a big thing it just helps ease the confusion.
It's weird to think that if they didn't kiss at the red light maybe they could have seen the car coming near them and maybe Percy could have swerved out of the way and they wouldn't have that bad of injuries.
You never specified if this story was a AU or just a fanfiction so I got confused when Percy was dieing because he heals with water so just throw some water on him right?
Everyone is worried about his injury and stuff but in the first book we learned Percy heal fast with water.
I got confused with the whole he lost his powers because of injury to his brain. His powers aren't from his brain it's in his genetics to get rid of his powers you would have to go into his bloodstream.
Overall I really liked your story. It was excellent and you had great details.
I recommend this story greatly so go read it you won't regret I promise.
