Changing Affection

Chapter Thirty

Ezra sat in the middle seat with Aubrey as the van rolled away from the large house. Aubrey didn't say goodbye to her father. She had walked right by him and jumped into the vehicle. Mr. Hallquist had tried to stop Era, but he wouldn't let him. Ezra knew that if he was stopped, he wouldn't be able to hold back on his anger towards him.

Aubrey closed her eyes and ran her hands through her long hair. She sighed and shook her head. Looking over at him, he could see how tired she was. "You need a nap," he gently told her.

She nodded. "How long until we'll get there, Asher?"

Asher looked at her through the rearview mirror. "It'll be a couple of hours." He looked back at the road.

Ezra wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Take a nap, princess."

Aubrey nodded and maneuvered herself until she was laying down with her head in his lap. He wrapped her hair in his fingers as he looked out the window. His heart was still beating fast. He was working on taking deep breaths to control his heart and emotions.

"It'll take a while until you're used to betrayal," Asher's voice brought him out of his concentration.

"I've been betrayed before," Ezra answered back. He looked up in the rearview mirror at him.

Asher shook his head. "Not like this, you haven't."

"What do you mean?"

"When you have someone, betrayal means something different." Asher looked up at him through the rearview mirror. "Take it from this old man."

Ezra snorted. "You're not old."

"I'm older than you," Asher motioned to his peppered hair. "I'm starting to grey. That shows I'm old enough to give advice."

Ezra nodded and rolled his eyes. "What's your advice, old man?"

Asher chuckled, making sure not to be too loud to wake Aubrey up. "Betrayal becomes different when there's someone in your life. Someone that you love. You become attached to everything about that person. You feel their emotions as much as they feel yours. When they feel betrayed, you start to feel that betrayal."

Ezra nodded. "How do I stop feeling her emotions and her mine?"

Asher shrugged. "You don't."

"What?"

"You never stop feeling each other's emotions," Asher repeated. "Both of you are now connected. The only way out is," he paused. "Death."

"Death?" His eyes were wide as he looked down at Aubrey. He ran his fingers gently over her jawline. If either one of them would die, it would have to be him. He couldn't imagine the world without her in it. After a couple of minutes of silence, he looked back up at Asher. "Had you ever felt that bond with someone?"

Asher's face fell as he nodded. "I have." He went quiet after he answered.

Ezra decided to let it go. He knew that look and decided not to push him anymore. If he did start to push, he might make Asher turn this van around and take them right back to Mr. Hallquist. It was quiet for a while in the van. Ezra watched as the tall trees zoomed by the van. It was darker than it was supposed to be outside because of all the trees blocking the light of the sun.

Asher cleared his throat. "I can't take the silence anymore," he sighed. He looked back at Ezra through the mirror. "I know you don't want to push, but you could have." He looked back at the road. "My heart is healed."

"What about your mind?" Ezra asked slowly.

Asher paused. "Still working on my mind."

Ezra nodded as if he understood. Maybe he did.

"I had a wife before I had met you, Ezra," Asher continued. His eyes were focused on the road, but they had a faraway look in them. "Her name was Amy, and she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."

Ezra ran his fingers along Aubrey's shoulder. "What happened to her?"

"I've always been a freelancer," Asher continued his story without answering Ezra's question. "I did work for all kinds of people, gangs, families, police. Anyone who needed any kind of help, I was the person they would call. It didn't matter the job, I'd do it." He took a deep breath. "Amy knew everything about me. I never lied to her about any of my jobs. If I came home bloody, she was the one who would clean me up and hold me." He looked in the rearview mirror and chuckled. "She was a professional on getting blood stains out of my shirts."

He turned his attention back to the road before he continued. "She was my rock. My drug. Just like I'm sure Aubrey is to you." He took a breath. "I always made the mistake of leaving her alone for long periods of time. She was a tough woman, and I knew she could take care of herself, but I was wrong." He paused as his jaw tightened. "I was gone for three days on a trip and came back to a way too quiet house." He looked at Ezra through the rearview mirror. "I found her in our bedroom, dead."

"Asher," Ezra breathed out. He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Asher gripped the steering wheel tighter. "I'm not going to tell you how I found her. Just know that it was a horrific scene."

Ezra nodded. "Who did it?"

"The man who had hired me for the three-day trip," Asher answered, venom lacing his voice. "I hunted the man down and killed him, slow. Made him feel all the pain that I was feeling. It took me three years to find him. I made sure not to take any assignments so I could focus on finding that bastard." He took a deep breath. "I found him hiding in the woods. I was out for revenge, and I made sure that I fulfilled it."

"Did killing him fulfill you?"

Asher shook his head. "No. Nothing was ever going to make me feel better. Nothing." It was silent for a couple of moments before he spoke up again. "I will never feel that bond again. I firmly believe that you only have one person that is meant for you. When you find them, never let them go. Although, when they're gone, that bond is forever broken, and you're broken."

Ezra looked down at Aubrey and memorized all of her features. He wouldn't know what to do if she was taken away from him. He would go and torture the man who took her, but he didn't know if that would be enough for him to heal himself after losing her. Deep down, he knew that Asher was right. He wouldn't feel better. He wouldn't be able to heal. He would end up just like Asher, grieving forever through a hard exterior.

"Protect her, Ezra," Asher spoke up. "Don't let her leave your side. Until Jearon is dead, she is not safe. You are not safe." He shook his head. "If I knew what Decan had been planning, I wouldn't have helped him get her back. I – and the rest of the men – would have helped you and would have hidden both of you until it was safe to come out."

Ezra nodded, grateful and starting to trust him even more. "Thank you, Asher."

Asher nodded. "Of course."