Coloring Outside the Lines

Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Name?"

"Jordan."

"Full name, please."

"Jordan Olivia Green."

"Parent's names?"

"Amanda Leone Green and Brad Green."

"You have a brother?"

"Yes."

"And he's good to you? You get along well?"

Yes, my mother thought it was a brilliant idea to bring me to a counselor. She is convinced I'm depressed and I'm done with life. And I very well could be. But this is the last place I want to be right now.

"He's very kind and thoughtful, yes."

It's been three weeks now, since Ray died. His parents have been in pieces. They had a really nice funeral for him, with all his family and friends, but I had to be taken home within five minutes of getting there. I basically had a mental breakdown in front of everyone. I was on the floor crying my eyes out and screaming about how unfair life is, and how I don't deserve this, how Ray didn't deserve this. Now I'm known as the unstable girl to be careful around.

"His name, please."

"Jacob."

Jacob was true to his word and stayed with me. He's been here to comfort me and has given me light in my life. I can't express my gratitude to him enough.

"Are there any friends in particular that you like to be around, you enjoy their company?"

I have to turn this thought over in my mind for a few minutes. There still hasn't been any word from Sierra. Her mom called about a week after Ray died to apologize. She told us that Sierra is very sorry but doesn't feel like she can handle someone else's problems along with her own.

There is Jack, though. He's been so nice, and he's come over to my house a lot lately. He provides some comical relief to my life. That light really keeps me going. Though he is a very good friend and I am lucky to have him, he and I will never be on a romantic level. We are far, far from that.

Besides, it's not like I'm just going to go get into another relationship. The thought of Ray lurches my stomach and forms tears in my eyes. The memories are buried in my heart and locked away there, held dearly.

The paintings I made for Ray on Christmas of our favorite memories was returned to me by his mom. She started tearing up and pulled me into a hug. She thanked me over and over for coming into his life. She told me that he loved me so much. She said that I meant the world to him and was all he could ever talk about. I made him happy. That was when I started crying as well.

We stood, huddled on a porch, crying while it was raining behind us. I shared the stories behind the paintings. It was harder than anticipated to get the words out of my mouth. But when I did, I would feel happiness rush through me. The thoughts made me laugh, and the sarcastic comments Ray made forces a smile onto my face. I realize that I will never stop loving him, even if he isn't always right next to me.

"I have a friend, Jack."

"Do you have a job?" Dr. Andrea asks.

"Yeah, I work at a bookstore," I nod.

Sheryl has been letting me come in more than usual lately. She talks to me and gives me a place to be so I don't have to just sit around. She laughs with me and tells me about her crazy baby boy, Samuel. It is a real day brightener.

"And you go to high school, still? You are a senior?" She asks.

"I recently graduated," I say, clasping my hands together on my lap.