Perfectly Fake ~ Niall Horan Story

seventy three

N I A L L

Everything in my life is perfect.
For once nothing is fake.

Lilli and Oilibhia were incredibly healthy and so we were lucky enough to leave the hospital just 4 days after the birth, hand in hand as usual but this time I also was carrying a little baby in a carrier.

As soon as we got home though I suddenly felt lost and slightly overwhelmed.
What are you supposed to do when your wife has just given birth and you have a tiny, little baby to look after and care for?
Are you supposed to cook a balanced dinner and keep doing the washing and laundry?

I had no answer to those questions but luckily Lilli did and I was able to, like always, take my cues from her.

Even in immense pain, even with no sleep, Lilli adapted incredibly.

She needed me to help her out of bed and could hardly stand up for longer than two minutes the entire first week we were home but yet she was still my rock.
She is truly the strongest and most admirable person I have ever met.

Even when she was crying because she couldn't pee without it stinging, even when her breasts throbbed from pumping, even when Oilibhia was crying all night as all babies do, Lilli still kept me sane.

I had to help her with cleaning her stitches and although she complained that she was embarrassed I know that she was grateful.

Even when Lilli felt insecure, crying about how her body would never be the same I held her and comforted her the best I could, kissing the baby fat on her stomach and her new stretch marks across her hips and stomach.

She really is the most beautiful girl in the world and I have made it my mission to tell her and Oilibhia that every single day.
They are my entire world.

Our sleep is totally at the mercy of Oilibhia, especially in the first week and thankfully we have time off work as the thought of having to get up at 6 am after having no sleep makes both Lilli and I physically sick.

It was hard to identify where anger or grumpiness was borne from sleep - or pain - in Lilli's case and so I tried to be forgiving and to bite my tongue even when I heard Lilli call me names in Irish and curse at me under her breath.

It's getting easier as the weeks go by and our bodies our adapting to the lack of sleep whilst Lilli's is still recovering.
Oilibhia was born very late on December 1st and so is just 3 weeks old as we approach the week of Christmas, the sky only becoming darker and the snow becoming heavier and thicker.

Our parents left just last week and Lilli and I were definitely grateful for their company and their expertise as they were able to show us how to work the breast pump and assemble the crib.

The boys have also been incredible and are completely obsessed and in love with Oilibhia, especially Louis and Harry who have taken to the roles of 'build in babysitters.'

Simon sent us a fruit basket that Lilli immediately threw in the bin and Vivian has been sending countless emails to Lilli that are obviously being left on read.
They are the last people on our mind at the minute.

"Dinner is nearly ready!" Zayn yells, pulling me from my thoughts and I quickly jump up from the bed and
run to the crib - an automatic reaction I have these days but before I can panic at Oilibhia's absence I can hear a baby gently crying downstairs.