Perfectly Fake ~ Niall Horan Story

seventy four

L I L L I A N N A

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm absolutely terrified.

"I can't do this," I mumble, panic rising in my chest but I instantly feel Niall's loving hands on my back as they pull me in close to his warm chest.

"Yes, you can," Niall reassures, lifting my chin up so I can look into his calming blue eyes.

"I'm terrified," I admit and Niall gently strokes my cheek with his thumb with an understanding nod.

"You're the strongest person I know. You deserve so much better, Lilli. I'll be waiting right here, I promise," Niall explains gently before pulling me into a gentle kiss that is full of so much love that it makes me feel like I'm floating.

We are interrupted when we hear Oilibhia starting to cry in her pushchair, both of us quickly turning our attention to her and for a second I forget about what I'm going to do and who I am about to face.

I look at Oilibhia and smile softly - her gorgeous little, pouty lips, her cute button nose, her big, blue eyes that just make my heart burst with so much love.
I can't believe she is already 2 months old.

I don't ever want her to experience the same things I have and I certainly don't want to enable it for her.

I want her and Niall to be proud of me.

Niall is now holding Oilibhia against his shoulder, rubbing her back gently and as we lock eyes I know we are thinking about the same thing.

I have to do this today.
I have no choice.

"Lillianna, you may go in," the receptionist calls out and I feel my heart drop until I feel Niall squeeze my hand reassuringly.

"You can do this, baby," Niall whispers with a proud smile, gently nudging me and as I walk I can feel my legs trembling beneath me with fear.

I keep my gaze on Niall as I inhale and exhale with a smile, pulling my purse higher on my shoulder and nodding at Niall.

I quickly walk away in fear of the fact that if I stop walking at all I won't follow through with it.

My outrageous heels clack against the marble floor that I have trailed my feet along many times before but this time feels different.

I have the power.
My daughter reminded me of that.

I take another deep breath and open the door to the room that is the actual gateway to hell.

I walk into the room, standing in the most powerful stance I can muster until I cough loudly and gain her attention.

"Vivian." I state coldly, keeping my confident gaze on her even though inside I am trembling.

"Ah, Lillianna! I'm so glad that we were able to get over that misunderstanding that happened at the hospital," Vivian greets with a fake smile, nearly falling out of her chair when she sees me standing in front of her.

"Mm," I hum with a raised eyebrow, folding my arms across my chest as I try my best to remain confident.

"I actually have some new jobs and bookings for you! So I booked for you to appear on this new chat show next week and I've created a gym and workout schedule for you that you must follow! It's completely necessary! You have just put on so much weight," Vivian rambles, her usual condescending tone apparent and I can't help but begin to feel insecure as she continues to pick out all of my so called flaws and insecurities that I have to either change or improve upon.