Sinful Discovery

023

° make a list.
Write down the most important things.
I'll give you the first: you. °

Chapter 23

It is all easier said than done.

After the talk with Nessa, our parents come home and surprisingly buy the story we sell about the mirror and all. I'm pretty sure mum was going to ask for more details on it but dad waves it off, blaming the mirror for being too old. I retire into my room and I can't sleep.

Now I am barely able to keep my eyes open as I dragged my feet on the hallway regretting why I got out from bed. Except, I didn't willingly get out of bed, mum forced me out. I don't know what the time was but I must have gotten up pretty late to take Darcy's sleeping pills after tossing and turning on my bed for hours. I don't sleep walk but now I'm pretty sure I'm sleep walking, I have no idea what's going on around me. The cap I had on helping me in more ways than I can give it credit for.

I had a lot of things to work on, one of them being the impossible chant at the back of my head. Despite everything Nessa and I talked about, despite what I believed and how I felt, as I thought more about it, I could still hear the chant — homosexuality is a sin — ringing at the back of my head like an old fond song. I can't imagine myself being free, being gay and being like Sky.

I bang into someone and the force pushes me to the locker I was hoping was mine. I feel brain dead. With a groan, I rub my eyes even though they remain closed, relying on the locker for support. Please be mine, it'll be too embarrassing if you weren't.

"Hey, are you okay?" Someone asks and on any other day the voice and accent would have given out who it is and gotten me on alert but now, it's like everything is on slow motion for me.

I turn around, my back still on the locker and I force my eyes to flutter open. Buzz cut and blue eyes. I nod, "yeah, sorry."

The person chuckles slightly, "Taylor, are you drunk?"

Lou... Lou!

I almost choke on air as I stand up straight, my eyes popping open and forcing myself awake. Buzz cut, blue eyes- Jesus! I blink many times, gulping, "um-- Hi."

Lou cocks his head to a side to look at me, "hello."

Face palm, if only the group can come and swallow me now. I pick a bit on my hair — the part that's hanging out the cap— I couldn't even bother to be awake enough to do my hair so I just pulled a cap on and Nessa also drove me to school. I couldn't drive in my sleepy state. I shake my head at Lou, "No, I'm not drunk."

"You sure, Taylor?" He asks, he looks mildly amused and if it's possible I'll be beet red by now.

"Yes, Saint," I say nodding and hoping he believes me. I've always wished for a conversation and after all this time, this is how it decides to go? I really really want to restart today.

Lou looks around him and the behind, like he wasn't sure I am talking to him. When he looks back at me, he has a drool worthy smile on. "Okay, sure."

"Bye," I mutter under my breath when he walks away, going into the swarm of students. I turn back to my locker with a grimace, happy that at least it's my locker, then I bang my head on it. Stupid, idiot...

"Hey, Taylor?" Lou calls and I whip my head around so fast, I almost break something. He's backing the student population, looking at me and when I raise my brow in askance, he grins. "Je m'appelle Louie St Martin."

Then he winks at me, turning around with his amused smile and disappearing from sight.

My French is good, really good on paper and I try to speak from time to time and what he said is pretty basic but it takes me a minute to understand it. Oh my God... Did I really call him saint? Who in the world bears just saint?! What is wrong with me?