Weak

ЯΣΛᄂIZΛƬIӨП

Realization

You're not sure how it happened, exactly, but somehow, you ended up in a bar by Heaven's Arena.

Honestly, your mind has pretty much short circuited on you and you've given up on trying to form coherent thoughts—let alone try to remember how any of this happened.

All you know is that right now, you have your arms wrapped around some stranger whose face you can only remember as a fuzzy blur.

-

A few days after your late night revelation, you laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

That night, you were sharing a room with Illumi and you could barely notice him there, almost not realizing he wasn't in the room when you woke up in the morning.

But once alone with your thoughts, you couldn't help but realize you've been looking at them differently after your realization.

It's not like you started to avoid them or treat them oddly though.

No, everything was the same as it always was, you just started seeing how much they care for you in their day to day actions.

It doesn't even have to be something big, it can just be Chrollo making some tea for you completely unprompted, Illumi paying for something as you look for your wallet when you go out, and even Hisoka moving you away from the road after it rains so you don't get splashed by puddles.

They're all minor things but you didn't realize they were doing them until now.

Didn't realize how much their care was shown, even if it is subtle.

But even through all this, no one mentioned.

Not even once.

No one so much as hinted at having some kind of feelings, so neither did you.

You acted completely normal, making sure you didn't treat them any differently than before.

And with little effort, you pushed the thought out of your mind completely.

So what if they actually did like you?

That doesn't mean they're any different than before, you just now view them in somewhat different ways.

Even though this kind of situation has never actually happened to you before, you think you're dealing with it quite well.

In fact, you've stopped thinking about it so much that you finally focused on more important things: what to do from now on.

The whole reason all of this happened was because you wanted to test yourself and somehow ended up... in this situation.

But you did prove to yourself that you did grow stronger and if you didn't run, you would've gotten your Hunter's license and be able to move on with your life.

Things didn't go exactly as planned, but still.

There's probably no way for you to get it now and it's really not that important but it still would've been nice to have.

But you keep coming back to this thought and no matter how many times you think it, it isn't going to change anything... which led to the first of many impulse decisions.

After being so preoccupied with everything, really, that's happened recently, with something always happening right when you think everything is finally going to go back to normal, you haven't been back to Heaven's Arena in a while.

You've basically been living there for so long and this might actually be the longest you've ever been away from there since you became a floor master, over a month passing since either one of the worst or one of the best decisions you've made in a while.