Without You (A Young K FanFiction)

Chapter 8 - What Can I Do

Three days before we left for Japan, I was already feeling well. I was even able to hang-out with the guys before they left to Indonesia for their concert tour.

We probably would not be seeing each other for the rest of December since I would be outside Korea most of the time. However, they made me swear to celebrate Young Hyun's birthday with them. It was not a problem for me though as I would be returning from London the day before.

In Japan, we were joined by the 'Maze Runner' director, Wes Ball and several Japanese actors, including Takeru Satoh, the actor who played the role of Kenshin in the movie adaptation of the manga, Rurouni Kenshin. I had a great time with them, especially because I had also been an Otaku.

As expected I got a lot of comments on my IG post with Satoh from my fellow Otakus. My good friend, RB even asked me to get her an autograph which I easily got without a sweat. Then there were the boys of DAY6...

Wonpil and Dowoon commented something in Hangeul, which I could read, but could not understand. I had already been staying in Korea for a month, but I could still not learn their language. Good thing, the translator was invented.

The two maknaes were actually asking if I could also get them an autograph from the Japanese actor and the 'Maze Runner' director. Of course, I did. They're my favorite maknaes!

Sungjin just asked how Japan was (did not even bother asking how I was), which I replied with:

OK!rizzaaa: It's beautiful and as cold as Seoul!

Jae replied to my response to Sungjin with:

day6jae: You didn't forget to bring warm clothes, did you?

I could not help, but roll my eyes and smile at the same time.

OK!rizzaaa: Nope, brother :) Don't want to freeze again!

It had been fun replying to comments while we were on breaks in-between shoots, but I was actually waiting for one person. I only read his comment at the end of that day when we were on our way back to the hotel. And it was only an angry emoji.

Did I do something wrong?

I replied to him with a plain question mark since I did not know what it was about. Then he responded with a crying emoji! Huh?

day6jae: Aliens! Can you even understand each other with those?

I laughed at Jae's comment, but I was bothered by Young Hyun, so I sent him a private message.

OK!rizzaaa: Problem?

YoungtotheK: -_-

He was getting weird.

YoungtotheK: I'm jealous.

I thought my heart stopped beating for a moment because of those words. I just reminded myself that it was probably just a joke, but I could not help but feel happy about it.

I was not able to reply immediately because we had a team dinner with the whole cast. It was our last day in Japan and the next day we would be leaving for London. During the dinner, I mostly talked with Wes Ball, who would join us on our shoot in London and Thailand. He even offered me collaboration on a film he was working on! Of course, I said yes. It was a wonderful day.

After dinner, I went back to the hotel exhausted. (Note: I was thankful I never got lost in Japan because if I did, I might lose my mind. I made sure I was always being accompanied by someone not as bad as me in foreign places.) However, Young Hyun's reply earlier that day was haunting me, so I logged in on my IG account again and checked our conversation. He had follow-up messages.

YoungtotheK: I mean envious.

YoungtotheK: Just bring me that giant Gundam statue and I'll be fine.

He was funny, wasn't he? But why did I feel like my heart sank?

Although I suddenly felt down, I still replied to his message.

OK!rizzaaa: Sorry, I can't. It would be held by airport security.

After that, I logged out of Instagram without waiting for his reply. I did not understand why, but I was upset...and disappointed. Well, what was I thinking, anyway? We were in different leagues. I was only a fan of his.

Yep, I had hoped for something...more special than fan-service or friendship. I knew that it was too dumb of me. Although I had known him for years, he had only known me for two months! What would I expect? If Janina never saw me that night of October 6th, I would still be non-existent to DAY6, especially Young Hyun. It was the saddest truth.

I looked at my phone's wallpaper for a few moments. I did not change it since Young Hyun put his face there. But that night, I changed it to a photo of my dog, Panda.

I slept that night with a heavy heart.