Him (BWWM)

46. 🔪

Alexander ~

"Fuck your happily ever after Alex!".....

Never had I ever thought I would see this day come...

"We don't have a happily ever after and we will never have a happily ever after".....

This was what I feared...losing her again...

"I will never love you, and after this, It's a definite guarantee..."

I just wanted her to love me, and I failed at that...

"I was never yours in the first place..."

Her words pierced sharper and further than the knife I would pierce in my next victim's throat. It's like everything that happens is like a shock to me, but then at the same time, I'm not surprised. Trapping Rose, I knew she would automatically find out and resent me, but I thought slowly she would give up and give this love thing another try. I could see I was making it worse by holding her against her will, but when she opened her mouth and expressed out of nowhere to me on how she really felt, my whole world came crashing down.

The tears that were welling up in my eyes, and I wasn't trying to do it to manipulate her, but these were raw emotions I was feeling, and she had no remorse on taking what she said back. I couldn't even utter a single world back to her or I would've been left in a crying state- I couldn't let her see all of that, I had to leave the room. I could always look at it as dodging a massive bullet and an easy way out of my heartbreaking...but it hurts- it hurts knowing the person that you have loved the majority of your life has finally spoken up and doesn't want you anymore.

A part of me wanted to replay the narrative in my mind that what Rose had said she didn't mean anything of it. She couldn't discard the moments that we had together didn't mean anything. She can't turn off her feelings that she had for me- it's not possible.

Oh who the fuck am I kidding, if she didn't mean anything she said, I would've been back to see if she's okay.

It's currently the next day in the morning, soon afternoon and I haven't been able to show my face to her at all. I didn't get any sleep last night as I am now residing in the kitchen with bottles of alcoholic beverages in front of me on the counter. I wouldn't feel my aching heart for about what- five minutes and then her words come racing back in my mind.

I wouldn't even be shocked if she had managed to set herself free from all the pent up anger Rose had inside of her. I nearly said "Fuck it" and was about to set her free, but the inside voice telling me not to do it because there's a 100% chance of her saying anything to anyone that'll I'll find cops knocking on my front door and locking me up- being caught was my worst fear. I always thought I would get away with it, but probably not this time. Without Rose, my life would be back to square one- lonely as fuck with no one to love or talk to- I can't let her go easily like that.

Finishing the bottle of Whiskey, I got up from my chair stumbling back to the basement, and I am so lucky that I did because Rose just about broke free from the handcuffs that I cuffed her to the leg table. I saw what seemed to be a sharp material beside her with red blotches on it, I couldn't make out of the visual, but it had to be blood- she was bleeding, where?

I alerted myself to her as she struggled to stand from not standing for days and the first thing she did was push me out the way- I shouldn't be shocked, but I was on the verge on losing my balance and falling backwards due to my weak state.

I got up again as I watched her look for her bag and to my happiness, she couldn't find it. I remembered the night where she saw my basement, and when I caught her, I strangled her half to death, passing out shortly afterwards. I made sure I took her bag and hid it up in my room but only allowed her to have her phone just in case her friends or family called.

Rose is smart because someone opposite of her would've asked me questions as to where her belongings were, making her more risk to danger. Rose simply gave up and ran out of the room, heading straight to the house door.

I didn't know how she was going to get out of the house without not knowing where my keys were, but I had a feeling she may find a way, so I better act quick.

I got my drunken self up and again stumbled over to towards the same direction Rose had went, which was the door. I managed to get myself together and walk as slowly, gently and quietly as I could to secure my target. I loved Rose's effort doing everything in her will power to open up my door- if it meant throwing herself at the door or finding pieces of furniture to break my door. I spread my arms wide apart to grab her small ass, laying a hand over her mouth and wrapping my arm around her waist. Her screams that could've sounded were now muffled as I dragged her back to the basement and now she was a goner for good when she decided to bite my hand.

If Rose doesn't want to be with me or anyone forever, I'll give her what she wants then...