The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Forty-Seven*

Over the holidays, I avoided Finn as best as possible, he went on lots of 'drug runs' as I'd like to call it, he also called me a lot, by with which I'd simply just pick up the phone and Inform him that I was busy. Busy either; - sleeping eating, watching series, working at the café and catching up on school work. My work had been good despite a lot of key factors that could have potentially caused my grades to fluctuate –fluctuate downhill at least, or even just based on the fact that my mind for the entire duration of most of this year had been everywhere but on school work, in fact one thing comes to mind, or one person specifically to say in the least ... which was unnerving because when I was apart from him, my mind was flooded with nothing but him

But not in the; 'I'm in a relationship and I'm obsessed with the other person', more like was he alive? Was he doing okay? Was he shooting at people? Did the cops find his lovely little container? Was he in prison right now? Were the cops on their way right now to come and arrest me?

Which was why I knew I could've done better if I had actually spent some time with my schoolwork which was precisely why I had decided to attend chemistry, physics and math classes in the December break because me being the queen of procrastination and laziness; I knew I wouldn't sit with my work of my own accord, so I made a step to go and do something about it, even if all my 'step' consisted of right now was an intention which I hoped was not going to turn out to be null and void. My future did mean something to me mind you

Even though it might not have sounded like it, I mean I was in a sort of entanglement with a boy who was well older than me by a few years, not only was this boy older, but he was a 21 year old criminal, high school dropout who seemed to have no general direction of where he was going with his life, who had also pursued selling dope as way of earning a livelihood, and the absolute cherry on top was that he sold drugs in bulk now as well.

I didn't even want to know what my parents would think if they had known how drastically my life course had changed in a small duration of just a couple of months, besides the fact that I was supposedly dating every parent's worst nightmare for their kid, I had started selling drugs with my convict of a 'boyfriend', and underage drinking, drug consumption, among other things.

I admit saying this out loud made it sound like I had literally fallen off the actual deep end, but did saying all of this make me want to sever all ties with Finn?

Nope

I know crazy, -who is this and can we have Emily back?

I didn't think I was that selfish that I was sticking around to just reap the benefits, I think I must have had an inkling of a care for Finn Windel, because that would explain why my mind seemed to think rarely of anything/anyone else

I knew he did reckless things, thing's that didn't help me sleep easier at night, Which was why that even on my Finn purge I let him climb through the window and lie in my bed until the next morning

I found my seat in chemistry class. Our chemistry teacher was an old man who had done really well in university, like exceptionally well, he had come 8th place in the country for physics and chemistry but he had decided to waste his future potential and life by becoming a high school teacher, teaching teenagers who didn't necessarily value him the way our headmaster clearly did.

Mr Royce's passion stemmed so deep that he offered extra classes in the holiday to whoever wanted to waste a huge chunk of their holidays within the walls of crescent oaks high

But I guess it wasn't all bad, because when you came back to school the following year, the work would be somewhat easier.

Of course previously I never attended the December break classes, I did well enough that I didn't need to, usually the only people who attended were; wannabe teacher's pets, nerds and over achievers.