The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Sixteen*

 After the game that night, I went straight home. Not really in the mood to go anywhere else where it actually might've required me to potentially speak and interact with more people.

I took an uber home as I couldn't very well hitch a ride with Amanda. Or even Finn - as I had blown him off.

I slipped inside the house locking up behind me and turning off the lights, when I turned around I found my mother, drunk as a drunk could possibly be, sprawled out on the ground, coughing whilst in a pool of her own vomit, her hair soiled to her face and scalp and her clothes matted to her skin.

I ran up to her

''Mom, Mom'' I reached her, gingerly touching her shoulder, afraid to make any extreme movements, as she might strike me again

She looked at me, and for the first time in weeks, I saw my mom in this woman's deep heavyset eyes.

''Mom'' I said again, my voice so tiny that I was unsure if I had actually said anything or not

She looked at me, her eyes pleading; I couldn't help but notice the dry mucus crusting her nostrils, and what looked like a week's sleep in the inner corners of her eyes, that the white was actually spilling out of her eye.

She looked so broken and miserable

I knelt next to her, and pulled her into my lap and chest, not caring that she smelt like trash and alcohol, not caring that her nails were digging into my skin on my leg, not caring that she was wasted, and in a pool of vomit

I held her

I held her body as the tears convulsed through her and then felt the tears prickling in my eyes

I held her.

Mom cried till she was red and puffy, I helped her get to bed and put her in. setting a bottle of water and aspirin on her bedside, in case she woke up feeling worse than shit

I sat there by her side, finally letting a silent tear slip and fall into my lap.

That was the weekend I found out my father had left us.

He wasn't coming back, for good.

I walked back to my room after sitting in the lounge area for hours, - Matt watching me attentively as I walked back to my bedroom.

I didn't need to tell him anything, He was a kid, but he wasn't blind

Matt knew

Silent eyes met in the night.

I wish I could say why it happened

Honestly I do

Truth is my parents have pretty much fought my entire life. There wasn't a time when they weren't.

I guess everyone had gotten so used to it, that no one really expected things to go sour so fast

So it's safe to say; no one expected this

Climbing under my duvet, I curled into a ball, propped my ear pods into my ears, and cried until the sky started taking its tinge of orange.

Then got frustrated at how broken and empty I felt