The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Twenty-one*

Finn

The roads were empty for a Saturday night, Finn was headed to the cabin, the place he had called home for a few months now, and he wasn't exactly excited about going back there.

As much as he didn't like to admit it, it got a bit lonely. When there weren't any parties the house was as dead as a graveyard.

And usually Finn would go out to fill up the emptiness. But tonight he was in no mood.

Cecily had gone back to campus this weekend, and Dave was at his humble home.

Yes, Dave had offered to stay here and keep Finn company, but Finn had been such a dick to him, that Dave had no other choice but to go home, the home where unlike Finn, Dave wasn't greeted by utter silence.

Finn unlocked the front door, and threw his key into the little jar on the small table next to the coat hanger

Finn wasn't a dick to Dave because Dave deserved it, but because as much as he didn't like to admit it, he was jealous of Dave, because Dave could go home to mom and Dad

''Fuck that shit'' he muttered under his breath, hating himself for admitting this

Frustrated, Finn went into the lounge area and threw himself on the nearest sofa, flicking on the T.V

Some news channel was on; Finn stared at the screen absentmindedly, his mind reeling from the weeks past activities unintentionally.

A distraction, - that was what he needed.

He could call someone to come over, Claudia maybe...... nah, he wasn't in the mood

Sighing

Finn knew he was only this disorientated because he was trying to keep his mind off thoughts of Emily

He scoffed ''mommy issues''

He did not have Mommy issues,

Emily knew nothing

His mom couldn't have given two fucks about him.

For the longest time Finn had thought Claire loved him more than anything, at least she had always told Finn that.

Finn and Claire used to do these crazy things, go on adventures like go to the beach at six in the morning, and stay there in the sand till the sun came up, or make up weird songs on the highway abut yellow spiders that wore aprons, and when people would stop at the red light and hear them, they would laugh and give them money.

It was all so simple back then, mom needed Finn, and Finn needed mom.

But when it came down to when Finn needed Claire the most, she had barely fought for him. Sure she had cried, when Finn's Father Greg took Finn by the front of his shirt and tossed him out onto the front lawn, Claire had stood there her arms folded across her chest one hand shielding her face as tears spilled down her cheeks, her body convulsing as if the tears physically hurt her

But none of that mattered, because she had done nothing

Claire had done nothing when Finn was hauled into Greg's car, and she did nothing when Greg started the car and drove away, Finn bawling his eyes out at the back seat

She had done nothing when Greg dropped him off at his Aunt Marge's house, and she did nothing when his father told him to never come home again.

And Finn had stupidly believed that his mom would never, Claire would never

She would come get him, because she loved him.

So Finn waited

Not unpacking his bags for a year and a half

Waiting, waiting

But he guessed she didn't love him enough to actually come and get him

He took in the deepest breath of smoke his lungs could possibly inhale pushing away all thought of his mother, only to welcome thoughts of someone else:

Emily Harrison

Finn ran his hands through his hair

How had things ended up here?

That night had been so stupid, - He had won a game, Emily might've been having a good time, he could never fucking tell with her.

They celebrated afterwards, by heading to Macy's, the diner downtown. Everyone was all fun and smiles, Emily started drinking, which kind of upset him, - drinking meant you weren't having a good enough time. Drinks were usually your last resort, when things weren't going that great.

But things had been going great, hadn't they?

At least Finn had thought everything was going great up till then. Maybe a bit too optimistic even, thinking he might fuck her that night and get her out of his system, he had been pining after this girl like he was an eighth grader with a stupid crush on a senior girl with big tits

Although, he wasn't sure if he'd ever admit this, he actually didn't want to get her out of his system

At least not yet

She was hot in the; 'I-don't-think-I'm-hot' way. She was also crazy and seemed to resent Finn for no apparent reason

But of course this happened to turn Finn on even more.

A lot of people had asked Finn more times than he could remember, why he did the whole; date the entire world population thing.

In fact even Cecily was one of those people. Last week she had actually asked why he couldn't just find a winner, and call it quits

But no matter how many times he got asked the same thing, Finn never answered for one reason and one reason only

He knew it would sound bad if he said it out loud, so he didn't.

Finn wasn't really interested in the relationship, the sex......or the girl for that matter

Instead he was interested in the perfect balance of having a girl want you so much it made her crazy, that it didn't matter how many girls he'd screw around with after her, she'd still be hooked like a caught fish.

What was the harm in being what people wanted?

What was wrong with feeling needed?

Especially when the one person .................

Shit, maybe he did have mommy issues