The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Forty-One*

Finn

A few nights ago, Finn woke up grungy, hung-over and naked. He fumbled around in his drawer for pain killers and a bottle of water

He got up, legs dangling on the side of the bed, pulling on his clothes of the night before

Finn lay back down, blowing puffs of smoke towards the ceiling

Snippets of the night before tickling the edge of his memory; One too many shots, an edible and a half bottle of vodka later, he felt sick to his stomach

Finn turned to look at the empty space next to him, and the white cushion that had still had a dent in because of a head that had lain there the night before

Finn smiled to himself, running a hand through his hair

Emily

He would never care to admit it, but his head, thoughts and entire being was filled with her and only her 24/7

Finn peeled the sheet back of the bed, just a little bit, enough for him to climb back into bed and cover himself

What were another few hours of sleep?

That's when he saw it

First he thought his eyes hadn't adjusted to seeing daylight, and his eyes needed to sharpen the image, like a camera out of focus, needing to re-center

Finn rubbed at his eyes, then blinked profusely

The evidence still evidently there: A smudge of blood

He just shut his eyes again; he was too tired for anything, when a thought crossed his mind causing him to shoot up so fast, his head hurt from the abrupt movement

''Fuck'' was the words that sprung off his tongue on pure impulse

It couldn't be? Or could it

But what about those terrible marks he had seen on her back?

But that was at least a month ago by now, surely it would've healed by now

What the fuck had happened last night, Finn ran a hand violently through his hair

Last night

oh no

''fuck, fuck, fuck" he muttered, getting up and pulling off the sheets completely off his bed

Getting wasted was definitely a check on the list of what he had done last night; there was nothing else to explain how shitty he was feeling in this moment in time right now

Finn remembered her soft thighs, and pearly porcelain skin, warm to his touch, he felt his skin start to tingle

''C'mon cut it out Finn''

What had he done?

Actually he thought he knew exactly what he had done, but he hoped for his sake it hadn't happened

Checking his phone, he took a deep breath: no texts no calls

Finn yanked the sheets violently, and dragged it into the bathroom, where he dumped it into the bath, planning on washing the sheets himself, instead of dumping it into a dirty laundry hamper and waiting for the house cleaner to clean it with the rest of the dirty laundry

Call it guilt, disgust, shamefulness even

The one person in the whole entire world that he cared about the most and didn't want to hurt in any way, he ended up hurting in the worst way