The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Twenty-Nine*

''Don't you think you going to fast with Finn?'' Amanda asked twirling the loose strand of her hair that escaped her bun

''No'' I answered truthfully, my forehead creased in a frown. I said nothing, urging Amanda with my mind to elaborate on her previous statement

Thankfully she did

''Well just think about it, you've known him the total of four months and you guys are like an official couple

No, we weren't, but no matter how many times i told her this Amanda refused to believe me.

yes maybe I have been spending a lot of time with him recently, but that didn't mean we were a couple, in fact it never actually felt like we were in a relationship.

And I know me saying that it didn't feel like a relationship, would imply that I knew what a relationship felt like

I didn't/don't, but just because I haven't been in a relationship before it didn't mean that I didn't know what emotions felt like.

In fact I drew up this specific conclusion because of what my emotions felt like, and none of them were screaming: relationship

So what did I think a relationship felt like?

A brand new emotion, something I've never felt before.

Being with Finn didn't feel like that, it just felt like we were in some unspoken agreement, that we didn't do 'boyfriend /girlfriend 'things we just made out like thrice in total, and smoked a hell of lot together, and maybe spending some time together- but again, not like going on dates and doing girlfriend/boyfriend 'things.

it annoyed me that Amanda was saying things like this, but not enough that i felt like explaining enough times to her until she got it that it wasn't really like that.

''It's just that I love and care about you, and I don't want you to get hurt''

I scoffed involuntary

Amanda shot me a sour look

''Well stop worrying; really, there are better things to worry about like world peace and a new president maybe''

Amanda shot me daggers

''That's not what I mean and you know it''

I jumped onto her bed and fluffed a pillow under my head

''Okay Amanda tell me what it is that's bothering you?''

''I don't know,'' she whined, as if her not knowing the answer was my fault - ''you just seem different lately, that's all''

I frowned

''Different how?'' I said my interest suddenly piqued

She shrugged

''Oh, just forget it''

I groaned ''Amanda seriously, just teeeell me''

Amanda went silent, probably contemplating whether or not to tell me

I guess she decided on the latter

''Don't take this the wrong way, but like you seem... I don't know..... Less happy''

I couldn't hide my distaste at this

''Less happy?'' I asked, my face portraying everything I was feeling

''See I knew you'd take it the wrong way'' Amanda exclaimed

I shot back

''Well I'm not in control of my emotions, so excuse me if -''