The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Forty*

Like everything, being drunk had pro's and con's

It was the amount of pro's and the amount of con's that determined whether the topic at hand was good or bad

More pro's meant: good

More cons meant: bad

I don't think I'd have to list all the pros and cons of being drunk, because we all know that there'd be more cons than pros

Like for example; being drunk was a con because sometimes you did and said some crazy things, things that under normal circumstances you might've never have said

Not only that, but being drunk also didn't take what you said or did into any consideration

Even if it meant you said something that you didn't necessarily mean

At least that's what I had convinced myself of in the last hour

''I love you Em'' is what Finn had said

And even if he had meant it.......

There was another con of being drunk

Hangovers

Hangovers were the absolute worst, not only did you feel shitty and look like death when you woke up, - there was a possibility you wouldn't be able to recall a lot of the night before, which could be problematic if say; you were told to remember some type of important information like a password or something of the sort

Although this time the con at hand worked in my favour

I was counting on it, maybe even praying that Finn would forget about what he had said.

Finn was up, I felt the bed move ever so slightly. I had always been a light sleeper; I heard him go into the bathroom and retch violently onto god knows what

I lay there frozen for a solid few moments, until Finn shuffled back into the room, and gathered his things; I watched him out of the corner of my eye

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that he was planning on slipping out; it didn't seem like a bad idea, it also didn't sound like something I would've wanted to get up out of the embrace of the warm comforter for

I think I was still partially upset about the gun Finn had brought into my home

I had always known Finn was nothing like any guy at my school, in my home, or even the ones I came face to face with

I never minded of course, but sometimes I seemed to underestimate the level of intensity, which didn't seem like a problem, until something like this happened and I was thrown completely off guard, - which was why I let Finn walk out the door that night, even though my mind was racing and my heart was hammering in my chest

''I love you Em''

What did that mean exactly?

I've watched enough movies and read enough books to know that it was a supposed big deal.

In a relationship at least

But we weren't in one

It was more like a 'friends with benefits' type of thing

So this, what Finn had said- had crossed too many lines

I never asked for his love

I don't think I wanted it

Neither did I need it.

And what if he expected it from me?

If this were a rom-com usually what would happen next is that the girl who supposedly can't say 'it' even though she wants to, because she does love the other person, she can't bring herself to, because she has issues. And the rest of the movie/story would go on and basically be her trying to convince herself to say it back. She eventually does of course, and then they live happily ever after