The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Forty-Eight*

The last week of December Matt had left for some sort of summer camp, like a fun uplifting, stimulating, character development summer camp, which aimed to equip young individuals with all the tools they needed to navigate their way through obstacles that every kid in today's age was faced with, and also helped them cement some good core values – well at least according to the leaflet that's what Matt would be doing there for the remainder of his holidays

I'm glad he was getting away and doing kid things for the holidays instead of reliving a routine similar to mine, day in and day out.

Mom also said she needed to discuss something with me, which in any other instance I'd be kind of scared of this inescapable upcoming talk, because when your parents said the needed to talk to you about something, it was usually bad. My mind immediately went to Finn, and all the things I could possibly get scold out for

I wanted to work out possible options of excuses and explanations aka lies beforehand so that I at least was not going in unprepared, because unfortunately parents have a tendency of doing that; saying that they want the truth and that they won't get angry, and that the truth will set you free if you let it.

I've heard it all before, and I have concluded that they only say these things to trick you into trusting them and the illusion of them going to be just a little less mad just because you told them the truth

I'm sorry to tell you but if you still believe this, you're naïve

Admittedly I am one of those naïve people who has fallen many times for this façade simply because I believed that they would understand maybe give me some advice, maybe try and teach me something valuable, lecture me extensively maybe – but maybe this is just what I wanted as a typical teenager, maybe I didn't know what's best for me, maybe mom shouting at me was just an indication of how much she actually cared about me and was looking out for me because she's been through this before, and she has more knowledge than me because she has been around longer.

But that's not what I want to necessarily hear, I want to hear that mom is wrong, that she won't understand because I don't want her to find out and be disappointed in me, I don't want to get into trouble because I still want to see Finn, I still want to do things that are undoubtedly bad with this undoubtedly bad boy, so to make myself feel better about lying, I'd tell myself that she would never get it, that this is a different time than when she was brought up-which is true-

Either way I wasn't ready to say it, and mom wasn't ready to hear it

''I spoke to aunt felicity over the weekend -'' mom began

Aunt felicity-Amanda's mom

I let out a breath of relief; no way could this be about Finn

I nodded my head

Or could it?

''I just gave her something to contribute to her gas money like normal''

This was true of course; mom always gave aunt Felicity some money to compensate for all the rides she'd been giving me

''but Felicity insisted that there's no need for it, I thought she was just feeling generous, but then she mentioned that you haven't been travelling with them''

''yeah'' I said confirming everything she had just said

''since when did this happen?'' she asked clear as day that she was troubled by this

''a couple of months I guess''

''why didn't you tell me about this''

''it's no big deal I guess, plus it's not like everything has been...'' I changed my mind about what I was going to say ''forget it''