The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Fifty-Two*

I didn't mind not seeing Finn for the remainder of the school holidays, it felt sort of good to get back in touch with my reality, the reality that used to consist of mundane things such as stationary shopping and preparation for the new school year

Admittedly going back to school was not one of those amazing things that seemed to happen to all the main characters of Disney movies, in fact it was nothing special at all, there was no delicious breakfast waiting for you when you bound out your room, you were most likely never late for your first day, how would one even accomplish that? Surely one would have put on a reminder or alarm for school. Teenager's lives weren't that eventful that they couldn't remember the first day of high school

If I were to be completely honest this day felt like all the previous first days I have had to experience in my short but eventful lifetime. And all those first days had been: totally normal and overall dull, -Which is why you can imagine how I was not exited in any way to go back

As I was still Emily Harrison your average introverted 16 year old who would soon be a junior at Crescent oaks high

Well at least that's what I had convinced my mind to believe, as if it were important for me to remember that; that I was no way different to the girl I was a year ago, even when that was the one thing I knew for sure was a lie

Mom dropped me off that morning, telling me she'd be there to come and get me when school dismissed; I prayed that it would hopefully be on time

And as I stepped foot onto school grounds I fought the urge to turn around and beg mom to take me back with her like a toddler who had never been to school before, but I hadn't done that of course, for I had vowed to make this year an exceptional year and make it so much better than the last

I admit walking in at that moment it seemed highly impossible based purely on the fact that someone had asked me to sell them some drugs in broad daylight

It was then where I had an epiphany, if people came to me drugs, asking me to sell them drugs that implied that they thought I had drugs on me or even that I was associated with the term drugs

Emily = drugs

This was unnerving and I knew I had to do something drastic to change this, I hadn't realized how serious my actions had been until then, until a said fellow junior approached me asking for some molly, it shocked me initially, like what did I look like? The type of person to flirt with the possibility of expulsion the way Finn flirted with the human female species

But besides all that, the one obvious fact why this year was so different from all the other years, was that for the first time since what seemed like the beginning of mankind I was not walking in with Amanda

I won't omit any truths, I did see her in the halls occasionally, and sometimes I did feel tempted to go and talk to her, it had been long enough that I had forgiven her for the betrayal, hardly forgotten, but I had eliminated all bad unresolved feelings I might've felt towards Amanda

It was sort of sad that we probably wouldn't ever catch up and talk about stupid insignificant crap like we used to, well i didn't know this for a fact, but based purely on the fact that I had no courage to go up to her and simply even say hi, I knew this ambition of mine was farfetched

So for now we settled on fleeing gazes exchanged in the hallways

I also observed the hand holding going on between her and Kevin; I assumed it was a sign of them being together

This year was going to be great I assured myself

I joined that stupid book club like Collin had recommended because I had nothing else to look forward to inside these school walls