The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Twenty-Six*

It didn't take long for the whole world to find out about mine and Finn's kiss.

It also didn't take a genius to piece together that Sheri told.

Everyone had something to say, and something to grumble,

It was kind of frustrating.

And I felt sorry for every other girl Finn had ever been with. - even seen with) - wondering if this is what they had to deal with? This only made me regret what I had done even more

Yes, I regretted it, I really did.

But then why Had I lay in bed that night, tracing my fingertips over my lips, remembering Finn had kissed them not too long ago.

I hadn't seen him for a week now, I guess I was too scared of how things would be, but that didn't mean I could get him out of my head. Wasn't this exactly what I didn't want?

Monday morning Amanda had come up to me, and then dragged me to the restrooms in fourth period - no one really went to the rest room that period for some reason.

''20 minutes, tell me everything - Go'' she ordered

And I pretended to not know what she was on about, - because for the first time in weeks, I didn't feel like talking about it

''Have you been living some double life or something?'' she asked

I smiled sheepishly

''I feel like those people who are victims of their best friend's suicides - ''
Huh

''What are you talking about?'' I asked frowning in genuine puzzlement

''You know how they have those stories in the paper about how the friends claim they never saw it coming, - and how it just happened, and I always thought that was complete bulls- ''

''Mandy, I'm not going to kill myself -'' I cut in, interrupting her blatantly

''Yeah, of course you not going to'' - she brushed off my remark and carried on -''But like I didn't know about any of this, when I'm supposed to know'' Amanda exclaimed dramatically plopping herself on the toilet

I let her have her moment

''I mean I heard from freaking Diana'' she started again

''Diana'' she said more enthusiastic than the first time almost as if Diana were some demon from hell

''And I was like no way! That's not true, but then other girls were also talking, and I asked them if they were sure? Because I mean you and I are close, and you would've told me you know, because you are unable to keep secrets -''

I fidgeted with my sweater nervously, ignoring the sudden bitterness that was rising.

''And they said of course they were sure, and I didn't believe them. Even Sarah told me that she saw you and Finn together at the game last season, and then at Gresco when Finn won ''-

Hearing Amanda say him name sounded so weird, as we never spoke about him. It had become like what I did with Finn and what I did with Amanda were two different lives. So having both worlds collide so suddenly was weird and alien

''And lizzy said that she thought you seemed like a bitch because of how you acted like a total psychopath and went off at Finn –''

This was like a slap in the face

''I told her that's crazy that you wouldn't shout at someone for no reason, but she swore you were apeshit crazy'' Amanda laughed half-heartedly

And I bit down on the inside of my lip