The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Fifty-Three*

Finn never told me why we had gone there that night; I assumed it had something to do with him feeling guilty for something most likely out of his control, that's why he had taken me there, so that for once the both of us could pretend that this was a regular ordinary relationship

I stepped into the house that night, for some reason unexplainably giddy, but once I stepped inside and took in my surroundings, my brain had genuinely been confused as to what it were seeing; it was like a family reunion, there was mom, dad and, Matt sitting at the kitchen table

What was this about?

I wiped the smile off my face

''Where were you?'' mom asked coming up to me, nose in the air as if she'd be able to smell where I'd been

I could feel dad looking at me too, I pretended to be unfazed by him

''Out with a friend'' I said

''What friend?'' mom pressed

This 'what friend?' thing of mom's was starting to get real annoying

Mainly because most of the time I didn't have an answer, that would also be a believable lie, one that would have some sort of solid proof supporting it, as opposed to telling the truth about where I'd been, which was with Finn, and no way was I going to talk about Finn, which was why I had no choice, but to ignore her and go to my room

''Your mom is speaking to you'' dad warned sternly

My heart was racing in my chest, I was scared dad might come up after me and beat me, but the need to protect my relationship with Finn was more important than answering my parents

I didn't want to answer, I didn't have an answer and the fact that they were interrogating me made me mad

My heart was pounding now

I heard mom call behind me again

''You're a kid, act like a kid, you don't get to do what you want to when you want to'' she yelled

I rolled my eyes at the door

I feel like if I had said I'd been at Amada she'd have been fine, but what if she found out that I had not been going there? And then I'd be in more trouble because why would I want to lie about where I was at unless I had something to hide

So I said nothing, I never said anything it was quite stressful having to lie and omit certain things from them because I knew they wouldn't understand.

I sometimes wished I knew what was going through mom and dad's heads especially now that they had suddenly decided to be so available and present in Matt and I's life, mom was regularly trying to make conversation with me, dad too, they were trying too hard it was pitiful

Matt had been easier to win over than me, because in the next month he was laughing away with dad like no time had passed

In a way I felt betrayed but I wasn't mad, Matt was a kid after all. I thought about why I was acting this way towards them, when I could see that they were genuinely trying to be better, it wasn't my place to judge why the sudden change of heart, all that mattered was that they were trying

I knew it wasn't so much that I was angry at them; it was just easier that way, that way they expected nothing from me and vice versa

After that incident the one where I had blatantly disrespected mom according to dad, as if he were the wiser, they were constantly keeping tabs on me which felt like I was grounded, which is a normal assumption to make due to being watched like a hawk by your parents if you ask me