The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Forty-Five*

My small conversation with mom brought me back to thinking of how I'd almost bought Finn a present, keyword: almost

Hence: I hadn't bought him a present

The thing was I didn't bring up serious topics like Christmas, thanksgiving or family dinner's up around Finn, reason being I didn't want our relationship to become an actual relationship. Finn wasn't my boyfriend; I don't think I wanted him to be

I was seriously running out of nice ways to say; that I didn't want Finn around like in my life anymore without me sounding like a complete jackass

But basically if I was being blunt: I didn't want to bring him home and have to introduce him to my family.

If I'm being honest, admitting this out loud had me feel like such a class A Bitch, but I was too much of a jerk to actually do anything drastic about it

I found Cecily that afternoon packing groceries into the kitchen cabinets, and after a series of; Hey's and Hi's, I helped her unpack the last of the goods

'' quick question'' – I began

Cecily turned to face me ''Shoot'' she said folding her arms across her chest

''Finn said you guys don't have thanksgiving together- ''

''he said that?'' she interrupted

''not is so much words'' I admitted

Cecily leaned back against the counter ''why are you asking me this?'' she asked

I shrugged feigning innocence

''I guess I just wanted to make sure he wasn't spending Christmas alone, - '' Cecily met my eyes briefly before looking away, I carried on '' I don't know I assumed if you guys didn't have thanksgiving together you probably didn't have Christmas together as well''

This time she shrugged ''we haven't for a while, it's nothing new honestly''

''forgive me if I'm intruding but how come?''

Cecily frowned but didn't respond

''I guess what I'm asking is; could whatever is going on in your home be salvaged before Christmas?''

''ha! Unlikely'' She responded bitterly, seemingly to have zoned out for a brief moment

The moment passed

''honestly, you should take this up with Finn''

''believe me I've tried'' I said to no one in particular

Cecily looked to me, disbelief evident on her face

She sighed ''where are you going with this?''

''I just think everyone deserves to spend the holidays with their family''

I cringed at my own hypocrisy

Her frown deepened

''you said you guys didn't have Christmas together in a while – '' Cecily nodded her head at this statement ''knowing Finn he probably won't come out of his own accord, so maybe re-invite him, or get your parents to -''

Cecily didn't so much as interrupt me or say anything, it was her facial expression that stopped me dead in my tracks; she looked at me as if I were daft, so I let silence enveloped me instead of finishing. She didn't answer right away but after a beat of awkward silence she caved in

''Mom and dad would never....'' she began, I sensed a change in her tone, and I was afraid I might have pushed too far '' I don't think you understand the full –'' Cecily continued