The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Fifty-One*

Oh he knew he was way too invested in this girl, he hated himself for texting her relentlessly, only for her to literally just ignore him

She was like heroine to a drug addict, also her not wanting him as badly as he wanted her was a major turn on for him, he was aware at how this made him sound like a typical douche bag, but he was a typical douche bag.

And to be entirely honest all his efforts hadn't gone unnoticed, because she was coming here tonight. In fact when he had called last night inviting her over as per usual, to say he was mildly surprised when she answered was an understatement, he asked her to come over, and Finn might've let it slip that he missed her, and that maybe he wanted her to stay the night –in a non –sexual way of course

He wasn't going to pretend that it didn't hurt that it sometimes felt like she didn't want to know him, maybe it was just his insecurities talking but she did that to him, made him feel good about himself as well as insecure at the same time

A few weeks ago Emily's little brother Matthew had asked if Emily was his girlfriend, and he wanted to say yes because for the first time he wanted this girl to be his girlfriend, and he knew girls liked that, the fact that they knew they were in a serious relationship with someone, like they knew it wasn't just a one sided thing

But Emily...

Although it was a fairly serious relationship he had felt so unsure, yes he was all in, but he worried about Emily and what Emily would think? If she even wanted this?

But that night he hadn't wanted to seem like a chicken, because him taking so long to reply would be enough of an answer, which was why Finn hadn't hesitated and said yes. And oh how in the next few moments he wanted so badly for her to speak to him, tell him how she felt about that, but she had said nothing

Sometimes Finn wished he could read her mind

She arrived at 9 pm that night, the plan was for them to sell some merchandise, then come home and spend some quality time together, Finn felt bad that all they seemed to do was sell, like he hadn't taken her anywhere for her

''Are we making any head way with sales?'' Emily asked, twirling a strand of her long dark hair absentmindedly

''better headway than before' 'Finn said looking at her and sending her a wink

She shook her head playfully

''No, like I hope you getting somewhere, closer to your target '' she added

He looked to her again wishing he could read her mind, was she tired of doing this? He did put a lot on her, he also possibly put her in danger countless of times, but Finn swore he wanted to do right by her after doing so much wrong by her. He had spoken to Cecily on how to make a relationship work, and Cecily had looked at him as if had asked her for an organ at first, nonetheless she still gave him advice, that day she told him he should start by being truthful, and by keeping the truth away from someone you take away from their choices because you are not allowing them to choose, to choose you

Finn dreaded this, because what if she didn't choose him? In fact he had a lot of confidence that she wouldn't choose him, but Finn also knew that sometimes by omitting the truth to protect them, you could end up pushing them away

And of course he would never want to put Emily in harm's way, but whilst fretting over keeping her safe, he was putting her in danger by lying to her and overthinking everything

Regardless of all of that Finn knew what the right thing to do was; it was after all her choice to make and not his

So even though he had ben petrified and it had been the worst most stressful thing he had ever done, he told her, because he wanted her in his life, and he wanted to do this the right way