Awakened (Severus|Lucius)

Chapter Ten: The Truth and Nothing But The Truth

TW: The discussion of r@pe is brought up. Please read with caution.

"M-my father?" I say stuttering in complete and utter shock with those two words he's just thrown at me.

Snape stands there silent with pain in his face and regret for what he just said.

"Severus!" I panickly yell out waiting for him to confirm what I just heard. A thousand thoughts rush through my brain. I feel dirty and completely repulsed by all the feelings and dirty thoughts I've had of him.

"Maybe! Maybe your father." Snape finally replies heavily breathed as he walks towards me grabbing his hair back with one hand and clenching his other to his heart.

"Oh my god, no, no, no, no, this isn't actually happening right now." I say putting my hands to my face as I start losing my breath sinking further into a panic attack.

Snape starts walking up to me with his hand out, "Lu—"

"Stop! Don't touch me!" I yell as I back away from him, disgusted in the thought of him touching me. I felt like I needed to rip the skin off of all the places he's touched me. "Oh, god." I say crying as I feel disgusted in myself.

I look back at Snape who's taken a few steps away from me, allowing me my own space, I start feeling a rush of anger inside of me and finally snap, "Why didn't you tell me this the moment you read my mind to stop me from developing stronger feelings for you?" I say in disgust.

"I was going to, Lucretia, I just didn't know how to say it." Snape said with pain in his eyes. "I never planned on this happening, you weren't supposed to come here!" He cried throwing his hands in the air.

I walk backwards until my back is against the wall Snape had me up against a moment before. I placed my hand up to my mouth, shaking my head trying to absorb everything Snape is telling me.

I finally break the silence with a sharp inhale, "How?" I whisper softly looking him in the eyes.

"What?" Severus says walking closer.

"I said how!?" I yell through my tears as my voice breaks under the shock my body is still in.

"It's a long story, Lucretia, I—"

"Don't do that, don't say you can't tell me, so much of my life has been hidden from me, this is the wrong fucking time to do this to me, Severus." I say growing frustrated as I walk towards him.

Severus gulps hard and let's out a deep sigh, "Your mother and I—"

"Obviously had an affair!" I interrupt sending him daggers through my eyes.

Snape draws a quick inhale and starts again, "Your mother and I were pawns in The Dark Lords games." He says as his face washes over with sadness.

"Pawns? How?" I say with furrowed brows and a trembling lip.

"You see, Lucretia, I didn't have a family growing up, the only family I really had was The Malfoys, Lucius and I were very close friends and The Malfoys brought me in when I had no where else to go. During my time becoming close to Lucius when the Dark Lord was reigning his terror Lucius and his family agreed with what The Dark Lord was preaching, and I joined too." Severus has a look of guilt on his face as he walks over to his desk and leans against it still facing me.

"You're a Death Eater?" I say stepping backwards with a sharp gasp.

"Yes... I mean... I was, back then I.. was a Death Eater... The Dark Lord wanted us to destroy the Order of the Phoenix which was a group of witches and wizards who were fighting against The Dark Lord."