Awakened (Severus|Lucius)

Chapter Twenty-Five: Apparition

I left the ballroom and headed to my room, I felt lightheaded and my chest felt like a tonne of weight was pressing down onto it making it hard to breathe and control my heart rate. Mrs Malfoy's intense stare made me feel certain that she knows something is up, whether I've just imagined it or I'm completely right to feel like this, either way I need to get out of here.

I finally get to my room and quickly head inside, I turn around and place my head gently on the door, trying to calm my breathing. After a moment I turn around to my pitch black room and feel around the room for the lamp switch that was by the desk, it illuminates the room slightly as I quickly sit down and write a letter to Mr and Mrs Weasley.

Dear, Mr and Mrs Weasley,
I apologise for the late notice, firstly, I just want to tell you that I am okay, but I was wondering if I could come spend the rest of the holidays with you all? I miss you all so much and would love to spend some time with everyone before school starts up again.
I look forward to hearing from you and apologies if Adelina wakes you.
Yours sincerely,
Lucretia Vaire.

I place the letter in a sealed envelope and walk over to Adelina who was in her cage by the window. I open the window that let through a cold breeze making me instantly get goosebumps throughout my body. Adelina flies out of the window with the letter and disappears into the night.

I sigh as I shut the window and turn around facing my dimly lit bedroom, I sit down with my hands massaging my temples on the window ledge and finally look out to my bedroom. I stand up suddenly as I realise my bed was all dishevelled, I notice my drawers were still open from when Lucius was rummaging through them but he never sat on my bed. I start to walk over to my bed whilst closing all the drawers Lucius left open.

"Surely no guests would've come up all this way..." I say to myself as I sit down on my bed and kick off my shoes.

I lay back onto my bed, letting my legs dangle on the edge, when I smelt a familiar smell. I placed the bedsheets up to my face and inhaled the scent I was all too familiar with... it was Lucius, but what was Lucius doing in my room, and why was he on my bed? I sit back up now with my whole body on the bed and moved back onto my pillow when I sit on something hard. I lift up from the mattress and pull out my amorentia candle from under me. I furrow my brows as I try to figure out why he would've been in here, and I specifically remember Lucius putting the candle back in the drawer because of the disgusted or confused look he had when he smelt it.

"Unless the smell... surely not." I whisper shaking my head as I try to think of other reasons as to why my bed smells of him and why my candle was on my bed but nothing makes sense besides that he must... he must've smelt me.

I feel a sharp anxious knot grow in my stomach as I start thinking about the possibility of Lucius wanting me or desiring me enough to of smelt me when he smelt my candle. I hadn't even thought about how I even feel about him, if I even feel about him that way. He's been a good distraction but I can't deny the fact that I love the way he fucks me and how safe he makes me feel, and at some points even feel completely intoxicated by him, but even with all that I don't hold romantic feelings for him, not the way I feel about Severus. I always felt like he was using me to distract himself from his failing marriage just as much as I was using him to distract myself from my feelings towards Severus.

I put the candle away and start slipping off my dress and lay amongst the sheets that smell of him. I start thinking about Mrs Malfoy again, she is the last person who's bad side I would want to get on but there's no one to blame but myself because I've been playing this dangerous game with Lucius willingly.

I start to feel a rush go through me and a slight smirk come across my face as I think about what he might've done in my bed, the thought of him possibly touching himself over me turned me on, nothing was more exhilarating to me right now then playing this game with Lucius even if it means getting on Mrs Malfoy's bad side.