Feel my love...

CHAPTER 7

How's everyone doing?

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Jay questions me and I just nod.

"Throat burns" I say hoarsely and she sighs. She makes me drink cough syrup and waits until I go to sleep. But no, I just pretend to be asleep so that she would leave me alone. It's been two days since I left Liam's house or attended school. For two days, he came to my house with Harry after school, wanting to see me. But I refused to see him, I'm not ready yet.

I miss him, but it hurts nonetheless.

I grab my phone with a sigh. Louis had to buy me new one and the first one to call me was Liam. Liam left voicemails for me, I didn't know he can text also. He has this special device with braille technology used by blind people.

"Zayn, this is Liam. I-uh-burrowed your number from Harry. And I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were still out there" His voice sounds choked up, as if he has been crying "I thought you left, I didn't hear your calls. I know it doesn't justify my actions, but I just want to say I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do it, I was just messed up in my head. Please call me back, I-I miss you"

I wipe off the tear that trails down my cheek and sniff, opening the next voicemail. He has left nearly ten to fifteen, and it's like he leaves one whenever he realises how cruel he has been to me.

"Zizi, please. I don't know if you are listening to this, but I'm sorry" it hurts to hurt him and I can't keep avoiding him if he leaves another voicemail like this. "I feel so mad at myself for not letting you in. You have been under the rain for nearly an hour because of me and you are so sick now. It's all my fault and I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

I fall asleep listening to his pleading voicemails.

I blink awake when I feel someone running their hand in my hair and look up to see Louis.

"Hey" he says softly and I snuggle into him, resting my head in his lap. "How are you feeling?"

"Still burns" I point to my throat and he sighs.

"Liam is here" he says and I look away "He asks if he can see you now"

My eyes stings with tears, I couldn't help them.

"I will just tell him to leave then" Louis wipes at my eyes. "Don't cry"

"I m-miss him so much" I sound so horrible, getting my infected throat choked up due to tears "But I'm afraid he w-will-" I'm cut off due to coughs. "He will h-hurt me again"

Louis looks torn in between us. "He has been miserable without you, Zayn" he says softly "Yeah, I'm mad at him too but just think about it. He says he heard a car driving away just after he turned on the music and he thought it was you. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't see it wasn't you."

"But he shut me out" I choke out in a whisper.

"It was his mother's birthday" he states "That's why he was so down"

I didn't know that. "What?"

"Yeah" he nods "He is so guilty, Zayn. He has enough to feel guilty about. Don't you think? It's okay. It happened and maybe it was his fault too but you are not the one to act like this. Just talk to him. Every time I tell him you don't want to see him, he looks so hurt and ready to cry. It's heart-breaking, mate. Seriously. Just talk to him, please"

"Not today, I'm not ready" I say and he sighs.

"Okay, let me just tell him"

"Maybe you should hang out with him in your room" I suggest, accepting the glass of water he gives me "Don't kick him out"