Stewed

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I substantially heard my heartbreak in my chest, darting my head down quickly. I bit my lips wishing it could prevent the tears that were already wanting to fall.

His words didn't mean anything to him but they swayed me considerably. I throw my legs around his hips, getting off and going to the kitchen without saying a word.

I wanted fresh air, the tears already trickling down my cheeks. Synn was the first person to have taken my first kiss in the month of December-the first man to touch me that intimately.

Feeling I needed water to cool my burning throat, I reach out to a cup from the brown cabinet. Spinning on my heels, my face was met with the hard body of Synn and his red fabric.

I take a step rearward, the explicit cologne wafting close for me to know he was the one. I look down, slackly and nervously twirling the cup in my hands waiting for him to say something to help in the condition. After a few seconds, no words were uttered from his lips. The lips I kissed.

I feel his presence move as he glides out of my sight and goes towards the direction of the sink. I look up, my chest hurting at the actions. He wasn't going to apologize to me. And somewhat, I was expecting he had done so but who was I to expect such. Synn never felt remorse for what he did.

I look back, my eyes facing the back of his body, the beanie still on his head. He was at the front of the sink, both hands gripping the counter.

I inhale, my body tensing in the process. I finally summon the courage to go over and just fill my cup with water.

I walk over to where he was, my steps creeping. I see his head tilt a bit over his shoulder, his eyes looking backwards from his front. My fingers were stiff, the cup in my hands shaking a bit from my fear. When Synn was angry, he could make even the smallest things shake.

I was now standing at the back of him, in just in an arm stretch. I clear my throat wanting to say something.

"I-I need to fill my c-cup," I say, the hair on my neck steered. I hear a small sigh comes out from his lips, his body swiftly turning around to face me.

"You make me so fucking confuse at times, Linda." He blasts, his eyebrow scrunched to the middle between his eyes.

"You do shits to me and you don't even know it. You make me feel things I'd never in my life dreamt of having." His voice was getting more rambunctious at this point. I didn't just realize this but brazenly, this was Synn opening up to me-sharing his thoughts and bottled emotions.

"And when I tasted those sweet lips, everything in me changed because we both took our first kiss." I hear his voice break slightly at the end, my throat getting more baked by each second. I wanted my body to relax and think about things because we both knew so well that he was saying the truth. We both took our first kiss which marked today special. But I couldn't just endure what he said about me and not just get hurt.

I don't say anything, but lean in and give him a big hug, my hands shrouded around his waist. I feel his body relax.

"But what you said hurt me and I didn't like it," I mentioned confessing how I really felt.

"It's a mistake, okay? I wouldn't say such to you ever again." And that's when I realized that he just indirectly apologized. Synn never apologized and hearing such words come out from his mouth struck me.

I gasp, removing my head from his chest. "You just apologized." I chuckle going over to fetch water from the tap. I see the blunt grimace on his face, his lips curled up in disgust realizing the act also.

"I did?" He asked unsurely. I nod my head apprehensively, going back into the sitting room. I look over my shoulder to see him following me behind.

"That's weird as fuck. I don't apologize for anything." He dissents. 

"But you just did. I think you should apologize more often." I suggest causing him to roll his eyes.

"Not happening." He scoffs thereafter. I look at him for some time, turning my head to look at the window to see the snow falling down the ground.

An idea suddenly pops into my head and I stand up almost immediately.

"Where are you going?" Synn asked also standing up with me. I see his confused expression making me smile. I walk up to him and grab him by his left tattooed hand. "I have something to show you," I say biting my lips with a smile still on my face.

He doesn't say anything, contributing. I walk him up to the door taking both of our coats along with us.

Taking a step out of the house, I see a flake of snowdrops on my palm. The cold was unendurable but I still didn't want to go inside. The whole ground was swamped with snows, more falling from the white unlit sky.

I remove my hand from his left hand, walking in front of him a distance away and suddenly lying flat on the ground with the snow pressed to some part of my body. My head faces upwards, my eyes studying the sky, more of the snows dropping down and touching my face. I feel the cold from the snow on my wrist making me shiver insignificantly.

I hear another slouch next to me, Synn's body joining me on the spot accompanied by my small frame. He lays his head on the cold snow, his hands flat on his sides while his face was also lifted up, looking at the sky.

"Do you feel it?" I ask, my voice changing a slight from the cold. I turn my head to his profile, his beanie meeting my eyes firstly.

"You mean the dilemma from this cold?" His voice was raised with cold humour. I chuckle, shaking my head so it creates a space on the snow.

"No," I say shortly. "Everything," I emphasize.

After my last word, I feel Synn body come to relax. His eyes staying focused on the sky as more of the snow falls down pilling our body with its white ice.

"Yes." He answers breaking the pause. I turn to look at him, my eyes shimmering. I see his head move to look at me, our eyes boring holes.

"I feel it." He tells.

We're almost close!🤧💀

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