Whispers in the dark (Frerard)

Tidal wave of those emotion things

That whole time, from the kiss onward, felt amazing... I didn't get it... it was as if everything was somehow fixed, I knew it couldn't be but I still kept that mentality.

I saw some kind of slideshow unfold in my mind... It was like those girly cliché movies, where I saw... Us.

Just us.

I saw Gerard like I was a camera.

I saw him laughing. I saw him grinning. I saw him crying, with joy and sadness. I saw him dancing like he was some old emo dad. I saw him dancing like he was a mix of a stripper, Beyoncé, Brittany Spears and like Kesha or something. I saw him in a cute way. I saw him in a funny way. I saw him in a way that was a little less innocent. I saw him sleeping and I saw him waking up.

I saw us together.

I saw him kiss my cheek or grab my arm. I saw him rest his head on my shoulder. I saw myself resting my head on his. I saw myself jumping on him to kiss him. I saw myself asking him if he was okay. I saw him asking me the same thing. I saw us lying in the grass. I saw us holding hands. I saw my arm around him. I saw his arm around a drunk me, leading me home. I saw us fighting. I saw us making up.

I even saw myself.

I saw myself crying, laughing, dancing like a really embarrassing dad would. I saw myself in the overdone teenage vision where Gerard' be driving and I'd be sticking out of the car, smiling and laughing, just, free. I saw myself smiling. I saw myself grinning. I saw myself happy. I saw myself coughing. I saw myself being stubborn as Gerard tried to get a thermometer into my fucking mouth and I was loving it.

What I didn't expect was that when I woke up, it didn't go away and it wasn't a dream, not a drunken vision, it was an experience. Not the slideshow but I remembered that too, I'm talking about everything else. What really didn't go away though was the feeling. When I looked to Gerard sleeping I grinned, rolled over and pulled him into my arms from behind, kissing his cheek because I wanted that with Gerard. I wanted the slideshow to be real because fuck, this world is so fucking ugly, but he's beautiful to me. This feels right. This feels perfect. But life ruins perfection. I have to protect this little piece and keep it for as long as I can because I needed it. I always will.