Alone (25)

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I woke up the next morning to a silent house, which freaked me out for some reason. I've been nervous ever since that incident with my brother. "Jackson?" I said as I walked into my brothers room. He wasn't there. "Marcia??" I said as I walked to my sister room. She wasn't there. My mom wasn't home either. I was alone, which never bothered me, but for some reason I couldn't take it today. "Where the hell are they?" I said out loud as I walked over to the phone, I decided to call my moms work. I thought she was off today, but maybe she wasn't, and maybe she took Jackson to a play date. Maybe Marcia was just hanging out with her friends. They wouldn't leave me right? "Hello?" The person said when they picked up the phone. "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you guys right now, I know you are busy during the mornings." I said to the person, I had already started to panic. "No it's all good sweetheart, is this Sarah's daughter?" The lady on the phone asked. Sarah was my mothers name. "Yes it is, is she there?" I frantically asked, I could feel my hands shaking, and it felt like my body was convulsing. "No not today, why? Is everything alright?" The person asked. "Yeah.. she's just not home. I don't know where she is." I said. "Are you alright? You can stop in if you need some company. Your mom and her family are very loved here I'll assure you." She said to me. "Oh no it's alright, thank you though, bye." I said and hung up. It wasn't okay, not at all. I had slowly realized that I had a fear of abandonment. I needed someone, I'm not sure who. But I could not stand being alone in that moment. Every little thing was terrifying to me. "Shawn. I need Shawn." I said out loud. I wanted to call him, but I couldn't. Something told me to just go to his house. I grabbed a jacket, and shoes and started walking to Shawn's house.

TIME SKIP:
I finally got there, it was a pretty far walk. But I don't really care. I knocked on his door, and stood there, shaking, and crying. "Please open the door Shawn. Please." I whispered as I sobbed. "Hello-? Y/N?" Shawn said to me and looked in my eyes with a sort of shocked look. "Shawn." I said to him, while I broke down, almost falling from shaking so much. "Y/N.. baby. Come inside. What's wrong? Tell me everything." Shawn said and hugged me, then walked me inside, and over to his couch. "Sit down its okay. I promise. I'm right here." He said and held me. My face was pressed up against his chest, he was rubbing my back with one hand, and running his fingers through my hair with the other. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me, I hadn't said a word the whole time, I know I was scaring him. But I really didn't know what to say. "Maybe in a little bit. I just want you here with me." I whispered to him. "Ok baby, just take your time. You don't have to tell me anything, you can just sit here. It's fully up to you I promise. No one is going to judge you, I'm here to help. I'm here to make you feel safe. It'll be okay." Shawn said to me, and held me tighter. "Ok I'll tell you.." I said, I was hesitant because I didn't want him to think I was stupid. "Ok, whenever your ready, I'll listen." Shawn said to me. "I woke up, and no one was home. I don't know where they went. My mom isn't at work, and I have no way to contact Marcia to ask her. It usually doesn't scare me, you know, being alone? But it is horrifying. I am terrified of being alone." I said to him. "You aren't the only one, I think we are all scared of being alone. I know I am. But you will never have to be alone, I will always, always, be here. Even when I'm not." He said and hugged me. Shawn made me feel better. A lot better. I stayed there until my mom called later on, turns out she was out getting groceries, she felt horrible. So she let me stay at Shawn's house that night. I fell asleep laying with Shawn that night, for some reason, he held me tighter than he ever had before. But it was nice. He made me feel so much better. Shawn is an angel, even if he doesn't seem like one, once you get him to break down, he is truly wonderful.

(I DIDNT PROOF READ THIS SO IDK IF ITS GOOD LMAOO)

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