Children of The Fallen

Chapter 5: lie to me

Chloe Whitlock

I walk into my bedroom to find Dane leaning on his knees at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

This was his "mission" I guess you'd call it. He told me months ago about all of this, about Morgan's existence. I'd like to think it's because he wanted to confide in me but part of me knows it was out of some sort of obligation. I'm glad I'm proving useful with my new house, Kellan had a friend willing to give him his house in Arizona no questions asked but my house near Nashville was much closer. Kellan called some people he knew to handle our sudden disappearances from the apartments and help take care of the hunter attack at the club- erase tapes, get rid of certain evidence like any blood of ours that splattered on the floor. Morgan is still a missing person and Victoria and I missing from the apartment definitely rose some alarms but the cops that are friends with Kellan's friends are handling it. I don't personally know Morgan's family but I can't imagine what they're going through and knowing I'm apart of the cover up, preventing them from knowing what happened to their daughter or sister, I feel awful.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask sitting down next to him on the bed.

"What's wrong was that entire conversation. I keep going over it and I think we and by we I mean Grayson, just terrified her. This is all ruined." He says not lifting his head from his hands.

"We can explain it better tomorrow, without Grayson's comments." I take hold of his hands slowly bringing them down off his face. "It's not ruined. We escaped the hunters, we're at my house. We have time to explain everything. It's all gonna be okay." I say maneuvering my hand to hold his.

Pulling his hand away, he stands up leaving me on the bed. "How do the hunters know about her in the first place? It doesn't make sense." He says in a yelling whisper voice pacing back and forth.

"I don't know. But, she'll fully transition and then she'll be safe from them. She'll be able to protect herself." I say.

"I'm not worried about that." He continues pacing. "I'm worried about who else knows."

I nod understanding. "How would Lucien know?"

"He just does! That prick knows everything somehow. If he knows about this..." He trails off.

I stand up and walk over to him placing my hands on the sides of his face, focusing his attention to me. "He doesn't know."

"You don't know that."

"He doesn't. You were careful and everyone with us would never say anything to him."

"Grayson?" He suggests.

He's never liked Grayson. He's cordial with him but that's where that relationship ends. I managed to convince Dane to let him join after he asked to come along. It didn't help my case that Grayson initially found out about Morgan through eavesdropping on us. Although I think wanting to ensure the secret of her stayed a secret by keeping it in house ultimately solidified Danes decision. I believe Grayson just wanted different surroundings. Wanted to be with people.

"No." I say back.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because he wouldn't." I affirm. "And if Lucien does somehow know? I'm not gonna let him anywhere near you."

"You're gonna take on Lucien?" He says with that slight smile I love.

"Absolutely. What, you don't think I'd win?" I smile. He chuckles lightly. He rarely does this... smile at me- or with me anymore. "So little faith." I shake my head. "It's all gonna be okay."

"I just-." He stops himself from saying anything more and turns his head away.

"Hey." With my thumb I gently turn his head back facing me. "Talk to me, what's up?" He's avoiding eye contact and clenching his jaw. "Dane."

He finally looks up at me. I gaze into those radiant hazel eyes of his, riddled with apprehension. Is he actually going to? His hands raise to mine and slowly removes them from his face. "It's nothing." He says before turning to walk away.

"Seriously what's-."

He turns around briefly, "Chlo, it's nothing. Okay?" He grabs his keys from the dresser near the door.

I stop biting the inside of my cheek, not realizing I started doing that in the first place. "Where are you going?" I ask.

"Out for a bit. I just want to clear my head." He says opening the bedroom door.

"Okay..." I trailed off as the sound of the door shutting felt much louder than it actually was. I walk back over to the bed and flop onto it. Staring at the ceiling, I take a deep breath.

I would say I'm disappointed but I'm not. That's a lie. I am. I don't know why I do that- lie to myself when I fully know the truth.

I love Dane, more than I've ever loved anyone else.

I've been alive a long 603 years and for the vast majority of that I didn't think the love they write about in books and plays, and now movies and tv shows was true. At least true for me. Then I met Dane, really met him.

I knew him already but only in passing at Ascension or other random events that High Royals were forced to attend. I thought he was attractive but between being Luciens child and the rumors and stories, I was kind of afraid of him.

Then I got to know him. When I started seeing him I think if my father could've spontaneously combusted he would've. He despises Lucien and his children so he demanded I stop seeing him, he tried so hard to get me to stop; got my brother Vaughn to try to force me to break up with him, threatened to kick me out of the palace only to realize that I'd go live with Dane and that would look bad on him. Everything is about my father, even my relationships but on the extreme rare occasion in my life I denied my fathers request. He eventually stopped but if I wasn't already completely worthless in his eyes my relationship with Dane made it worse.

We've been together since 1905, and in 117 years I haven't loved him any less. I love everything about him. I love the man behind the mask of being Lucien's son and all that entails. I love his infectious smile, his compassion for others, his loyalty to those he cares for. I love what he views as his imperfections or faults. I love the way he'll laugh at his own jokes- and god his laugh, it's one of my favorite sounds in the world. Literally everything about him.

He helped me when no one else could or wanted to. He saw me as worthy and beautiful and strong when no one else did. Not even me.

I love him, I'd do anything for him. So it's a shame that he doesn't love me anymore.

I've been feeling him pulling away for years now. He's closed himself off again. He doesn't look at me the same, kiss me the same, touch me the same. All the things he used to say to me-

"I love you."

"I want you."

"You're my forever."

"I miss you."

Either gone or said with such a lack of conviction.

The only time he really shows me any affection anymore is if he's drunk or if he's in front of people, or both. And even though I know he's faking it, I eat it up every time. I'll take any kind of affection I can get out of him because I can't describe the pure joy I feel anytime he does anything reminiscent of how we used to be.

I spend every waking moment violently anxious that one day he'll decide I'm not worth it anymore. I wait with anticipation for the next time he gives this relationship attention and for a brief duration of time realizes I'm his girlfriend and not a distant friend. Still, I can't imagine my life without him.

I still believe in us. Maybe that makes me dumb- I know I tell myself that all the time but I cant help how I feel. I know how we used to be and I believe we can get back there somehow, maybe. I have to try, I can't just give up on us.

So if all he's giving me is a lie, he can continue lying to me.