Children of The Fallen

Chapter 23: a night off

Morgan Sinclair

With every passing day I hate the half a blood bag thing more and more. I'm alive and I'm functioning and that's all the positives I could say about it.

My hair-trigger temper has been my least favorite problem. Before this I was never one to be outwardly angry, I made it a point not to be. So the fact that it's been surfacing and surfacing quickly is wildly concerning to me. It's making my hunger worse than it already is. All the things associated with hunger- the burning, the pain, all of it sets me off and not being allowed to have the one thing I know will quell all of it... well it angers me.

Dane and I have made it a daily thing to go to the compounds library to sit and read. We don't really talk, maybe a quick, 'how are things?' then nothing further. Dane isn't much for talking, but the not talking isn't awkward. It's nice, it's probably the calmest I feel all day. Then usually later on in the day I'll go to the gym with Chloe who's been teaching me basic fighting stuff.

I've been avoiding Kellan just as he has been avoiding me. The last words we had with each other were two weeks ago and it was the breakup. If we pass each other in the hall it's a quick glance and nothing more. I do hear his heartbeat speed up whenever we see each other. He told me he loves me while I was breaking off our relationship and those three words echo in my mind all the time. I didn't know he felt that strongly about me.

I think it's for the best.

I can't be myself around him. But then again how can I complain about not being able to "be myself" when I don't know who that is or what that looks like? What's it like to be sure of yourself? It must be nice.

Victoria returned a couple of days after the Nephilim blood event. Dane called her to say everything's fine shortly after Grayson woke up so she stayed in New York. She probably had a lot to deal with given a couple of her nobles were killed.

No ones brought up that night since. I've walked into brief conversations about Nephilim blood itself but that's it. I honestly don't think Grayson even remembers it he was so out of his mind. He's back to business as usual: snide remarks about Kellan and I, flirty comments, he'll purposefully drag out drinking from a blood bag in front of me just to annoy me. I really felt bad for him that night. Not so much anymore.

I was feeling especially irritable and hungry tonight and I still have an hour before I'm allowed to eat so I decided to wander around the main house of the compound to try and walk it off.

There's so many hallways and rooms and balconies. It's excessive. I miss Chloe's house. I knew where everything was and it was homey and welcoming and she had these nice speakers in her living room perfect for us to drunkenly scream sing along to songs to. Whoever Kellans friend is that owns this place is a big fan of brutalism. It's all so rigid and uninviting. Everything looks the same, concrete walls and floors, a dim light every 10 feet or so, it's maddening. The singular plant in the hallway a little while back was the most exciting thing I've seen so far.

I find my way back to the front of the house, going outside to the cool breeze on my face. I walk to the side leaning up against the harsh exterior of the house adamantly ignoring the hunger pains periodically assaulting my body.

"What are you doing up, isn't it past your bedtime?" I hear Graysons husky accented voice.

"It's like 10." I respond not looking at him.

"Yeah, past your bedtime."

I scoff as I face him. "What do you want?"

He shrugs. "Nothing. I was just curious. I don't know your schedule, I genuinely assumed you'd be asleep by now."