The Misfit

Gracie's diner

I woke up with a jump and gasping for air. I looked around and realized that I fell asleep in my car after having my break down. It was still dark out and I patted around on the seat next to me to find my phone. I turned it on and the brightness burned my eyes. There were notifications for missed calls and texts that covered my screen. I cleared them out, not really caring what they said and I looked at the time, 3:00 a.m, I only got two hours of sleep. That's the most I got in a few days, but I felt no relief after that brief nap. My limbs still feel heavy along with my eyes, I felt my head pulsing, most likely caused by my throbbing and swollen shut eye. I haven't iced it or cleaned my knuckles yet, so that only adds to the pain. But the pain is a reminder that I'm still here and fighting, even though it's hard as hell.

I started my car and drove to the closest place to get some coffee. I enjoy driving at night, there is something so peaceful about it, maybe because the world is asleep and everything feels still. The darkness helps hides the horrors of this world, but there is also always beauty in the darkness.

After driving for about an hour I pulled up to a small mom and pop diner. I grabbed a baseball cap from my backseat and pulled it over my head, I pulled some baby hairs from under the cap in hopes of covering my eye the best I could. I pulled the cap down as I walked into the restaurant.

I walked in and cringed at the loud sound of the ring of the bell on the door. An older lady who had brown hair with streaks of grey running through it looked up at me. "Hi, welcome to Gracie's diner, I'm Brenda, how may I help you." She said with a bright smile. I gave her a small smile that didn't reach my eyes, " can I get a table for one" I said in a quiet voice.
"Sure honey follow me this way" she said with a smile, but before she turned around I saw her eyes focus on my eye, this caused me to pull my cap down and follow her to the table. She put the menu down and left. I played with the Frayed corner of the thick paper while looking at the trees outside the window, my interest wasn't in the food, I've had little to no appetite the past few days.

After a few minutes of looking out the window I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and found Barbra standing there with a smile,

"what can I get started for ya. Any drinks?" She said while getting her pen and pad ready.

"I'll just stick with a black coffee today, thanks" I said while handing her the menu. She nodded and made her way back behind the counter. Not even five minutes later she appeared with coffee and a baggie filed with ice. I gave her a confused look and she put her hand on my shoulder.

"You need to put ice on those or they are gonna get worse honey" she said while pointing between my eye and knuckles. After she left I sighed and put the ice to my eye, hoping it would relieve the throbbing pain. I hissed as it made contact with my eye, it was tender to the touch and sent a jolt of pain to my whole head.

After a while I placed it on top of my busted knuckles, and with my other hand I picked up my coffee cup. I felt the warm liquid hit my lips and the bitter taste wash over my tastebuds. This is my only life line these past few days so I savor every sip. Plain black coffee is an acquired taste but I quite like the bitterness. It is the best when it is a strong dark roast. Just like this coffee I was an acquired taste, I am broken and most people wouldn't want that. All I can hope for is that there is someone who will find beauty in that bitterness.

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After a while the ice melted and my coffee was gone, I asked for another cup and used the restroom while I waited for the refill. I made my way over to the sink and stared at the girl in the mirror. I don't recognize my own reflection, her eyes are lifeless with dark circles under them, her hair was messy and was matted together. The worry lines on my forehead grew deeper and the slight crease between my eyebrows was more emphasized. She looked dead with little life inside her. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, especially now; because now I will be reminded of what happened between me and Alex. I left the bathroom because my stomach started to churn the more I focused on my appearance.