The Misfit

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We sat there for what seemed like hours. He stayed there holding me, protecting me more than anyone ever had.

After a while we pulled and he picked me up and placed me on the counter. He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Ok I think we are gonna have to get you in the shower to clean these all. Can you stand?" He asked.

I shook my head and he mumbled an 'ok' before stepping into the shower and turning on the warm water he came over to me. "Are you sure?" He questioned with a concerned look on his face. I uttered a small yes, and then he striped down to his boxers. He care fully helped me into the shower and we both sat down. I felt the warm water hit my face mixing in with the hot tears running down my face.

I saw the water hit his face causing his long eyelashes to clump together, his hair had fallen down over his forehead. I slowly reached up pushed it away from his eyes, which gave me perfect view of his dark green orbs.

He grabbed a washcloth and all of my soap and sat them on the floor behind us. I stared at him and wondered how he knew how he could be my person of support. I have never met someone who would willingly do all of this me. Someone who would get on their knees and tend to my wounds. Someone who would treat me with respect and kindness.

He is too good for this world let alone me, all I would do it chip away at his hopefulness. That's what I do I destroy everything around me and I can't help but think that I'm gonna do the same thing to him.

I was brought from my thoughts by him taking hold of my hands and gently wiping them down before carefully placing thumb down by my side.

Then he repositioned so that he was sitting behind me and his legs were on either side of me. He then slowly lathered my long hair, trying to be gentle with the gash on the back of my head. After he was done he turned off the water and wrapped me in a big fuzzy towel and sat me on the toilet lid.

After drying off he disappeared into my room and came back with a stack of folded clothes and a pair of  socks. The tiniest hint of a smile appeared on my face, he knew me well.

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up gasping for deep breaths, I felt the tears running down my cheeks. Then I felt myself being pulled into a warm embrace, sheltering me from all the dangers of the outside world.

I knew who it was from the small whiff I got of their cologne in our tight embrace. I ponder on what it would be like to be his, to be with him for the rest of my life? To be the one to keep him satisfied and happy? That alone would make my life content.

"Morning, are you ok?"  I felt the vibration in his chest as he spoke with his beautiful raspy morning voice. We release our grip on each other and I slip on my glasses.

Trying to avoid much conversation With him I hum and shrug a response. Just because I allowed  him to see me so vulnerable, doesn't mean it's any less embarrassing. 

I was thankful that he hadn't asked me anything about what happened. He said that he trusts that I will tell him when I am ready. But the thing is I don't know when I will be ready.

How does one tell another something so horrible. How do I build the courage and express all of the dark thoughts that have been living in my head, and the terrible memories they are feasting off of?

I don't want to drag him into this darkness with me. But then again will he be the light to guide me through this never ending darkness?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why don't we go get some breakfast" he said while standing up.

" but they are gonna see the bruises and ask questions" I panicked.

"How long are you planning on hiding this?" He came over to me and grabbed my hand dragging me toward the door. I started to protest but he cut me off.
"If they ask just tell them you will tell them when you are ready. And plus you don't have to talk to anyone, if it gets too much we can leave." He said in a reassuring tone.

"Ok, thank you" I said in a shy voice.

We slowly made our way from my room and as soon as I stepped out the door I was taken into a hug by Eli. I held him tightly and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm ok. It's ok." I murmured. I think that we both know that I'm lying. But it's the best I can do right now. We pulled apart and I saw worry in his eyes and I felt so guilty.

"I was just about to go downstairs and have breakfast how about you join me and Ren." I said trying my hardest to sound happy. He looked between us and down at mine and Ren's conjoined hands. He gave us a small smile before leading us down the stairs.

He was farther ahead of us because of my slow pace. After last night my body hurt and was very sore, I also had a splitting head ache, so doing any activity was draining at this point.

I held onto the railing with one hand for support. My other was tightly wrapped in warrens warm hand. He stood slightly behind me with his other hand on my hip carefully keeping me upright.

I wonder why he was doing this for when I won't even tell him what happened. He is being too patient, he is showing me great kindness, more than what I deserve.