The Misfit

Where were you?

When I sat down at the table I was grateful to see that my parents weren't there and it was only the other boys and Alex. I knew there was going to be a whole lot of questions. But the thing is I don't even know if I have answers to their questions, I am most likely trying to figure it out myself.

The whole time I kept my head down and tried my best to not show my face too much, because if I did I would have to face the looks of pity and sadness. I don't know if I can handle that right now.  The feeling of eyes on me almost forced me to keep my head down.

There was a plate of breakfast placed in front of me and a cup of iced black coffee. I decided to sip on the coffee for a little before taking small nibbles of my food. Even though eating was not very appealing to me at the moment, I didn't want to wast it.

"Good morning Franny, how do you feel?" I knew that it was Asher by the chipper tone in his voice. He was trying to lighten the mood and I was thankful for that.

I know they all know that I was hurt. I have no doubt that word travels fast between these boys, they are some of the biggest gossips I have ever met. But I know seeing it is different than hearing about it.

"Good" I mumbled out trying to interact, but I kept staring down at the wood of the table. Trying not to seem too down I then switched to stirring the ice cubes around in my coffee.  After we all sat in silence for a few minutes I heard a deep sigh, and of course it belonged to Brooks, he can be short tempered and impatient sometimes. But I knew it came from a good place, you get tough love from him.

"Can you, look up Franny? It's not like we will judge you, we just want to help you." He said in a cool but very serious tone. I felt his hand being placed on mine that was tightly gripping my fork.

I looked down and noticed he had busted knuckles. I wonder what happened? Did he get into a fight?

"Franny?" I heard Max say, wondering if I heard him.

I exhaled and clenched my eyes to help keep the salty tears from falling in my food. I slowly pulled my head up and straightened my shoulders, if I was going to face this silly fear it will be in confidence. But on the other hand I kept my eyes closed and I gripped Brooks' hand back.

After I took another breath I finally opened my eyes. There was a tense environment around this table. As I looked at each of the boys I saw the same emotions, sadness, and anger. Except for Eli, his sadness was mixed with an encouraging smile. I couldn't help but give him a sad smile before looking back at the rest of them.

I gave a quick glance at Ren who was standing leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. He was taking in the scene in front of him, before his eyes found mine and I felt at ease when I saw that beautiful green.

"Are you in trouble?"
"Are you ok?"
"Does anything hurt?"
"Who did this?"

I heard questions being thrown around the table, and after a while I felt overwhelmed. Do I sat there and let myself drown out all of the questions and  stare at a family picture that was framed and hung on the wall. It was taken the summer before the boys left for college.

We all looked so happy, I looked happy. Back then I didn't feel like a burden, or like I was a wast of space. Granted I did feel out of place, but I was still happy.

I heard all of the questions keep coming and my anxiety was growing up with each one. When I'm anxious I tend to push people away and become mean.

"I know you all have questions, and guess what, sometimes not all of our questions can be answered." I said while slightly raising my tone.  This caught all of their attention, even Ren's, I felt his eyes on me from across the room.

"You know what, I have some questions. How did my life change so fast? Why did this all have to happen to ME? Why is my life so miserable, and why can't I seem to catch a break?" I basically yelled like a crazy person. The room was completely silent and I heard the foot steps of others coming toward the kitchen, and I heard my mom and sisters ask what was going on. I didn't even look in their direction, I ignored them.

I looked up at the picture of my family again. "What did that girl do to deserve this? To turn out like this? Where did that smile go?" I gestured toward the picture. My vision started to blur and my lip started to wobble.

My mom started walking toward me, but I moved away from her hand that she rested on my shoulder.
"Don't, do not touch me." I said out of fear, being touched was the last thing I needed right now. She gasped when she got a good look at all of my injuries. My hands were shaking, from anger or fear I but I tightly fisted them at my sides.

"What happened honey, why are you hurt?" She said with tears in her eyes and in a concerned tone. This only added fuel to the fire. Where was this concern a few months ago when I was held up in my room, contemplating weather my life was worth living. She reached out to me again but I slapped her hand away from me and glared at her.

"I said don't touch me" I was now breathing deeply and taking up all of the  little energy I had. I could hear my heart beating insanely fast which was making me feel light headed. I was in no shape to be this worked up.

She looked at me with an angry expression, "what is your problem, calm down." She commanded which only sent me over the edge.  I stared at her in disbelief, how could someone be so stupid and oblivious.

"You don't get to tell me to calm down, you are my problem." I said with venom in my voice. "What have I done, but try to be here for you, stop being selfish." She said in disgust.

"There for me? I don't think you even know how to do that!" I proclaimed which made her eyes widen and her face grow red with anger. She had her fists clenched so hard that her knuckles turned white. She took a step forward, "what, are you going to hit me? God knows I've already been beaten to a pulp." I accused while gesturing toward my face. That comment alone made her step back and release the tension in her hand.

"Ok let's see, where we're you when I was depressed? where were you when I was suicidal? Where were you when I was drugged and raped? Where were you when I was beat up by my rapist?" I screamed. I was letting all of my emotions out and I couldn't control them. I heard gasps around the room and everyone had tears in their eyes.

"There you go its all out there, no secrets now. Do you know how it feels to be isolated and have to keep that to myself?! It's draining and miserable, so welcome to my personal hell!" I stated before walking up to my room and slamming my door shut before I collapsed on the floor.

A.N
Sorry this was a shorter chapter, but There will be a little surprise next chapter!:)