The Misfit

Not so happy birthday

After we finished up in the bathroom I sat down in front of my gigantic mirror to start my make up. I shivered as my bare thigh came in contact with the cold floor. While looking in the mirror my eyes are instantly drawn to the bruise under my eye and the light cut in my hairline.

I felt a pang of sadness was over me.
Before I could be too consumed by it I pushed it aside. I need just one day to have for myself.

Just one happy day.

My birthday is always a day that I dread, it always ends with me upset about my family. Over the years it hasn't been hard to see that majority of the time my parents are on a business trip over my birthday or my mom magically has some other plans. Don't get me wrong I'm not ungrateful, but it kinda hurts after a while.

"What are you thinking about my beautiful rose?" Warren questioned drawing me out on my thoughts. He sighed as he made his way down on the floor. Slowly he pulled me to his chest so that I was now seated between his spread out legs. I felt the warm and comforting feeling of his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Oh it's nothing I was just thinking of some of my past birthdays."

I tried my best to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. I could see the questions forming in that beautiful mind of his. Before he could ask me anything about them I decided to bring up a better memory.

"I have one birthday that has always been my favorite. I was turning 10 and I was so excited to be double digits. I had been so excited because we were going to go to the mall and my mom was finally going to let me get this dress I had wanted for months." I explained while chuckling back at the memory. Warren was listening closely while looking at me through the mirror.

"Looking back now it was quite ugly, but I was in love with it. When I woke up in the morning and ran down the stairs ready to eat my dads famous birthday pancakes with sprinkles on them.

When I reached the kitchen I was sadly let down because neither of my parents were there. But aunt Megan was there with birthday pancakes set out on the table."

"Where were your parents?" Warren asked with a confused look on his face. I gave him a gentle smile and a played with his hand he had rested on my thigh.

"Aunt Megan had told me they had an emergency at work and had to leave early that morning. I was upset but it wasn't the first birthday it had happen on. When I sadly sat down at the table ready to eat my pancakes, but there was a little note next to the plate. It said....."

" to my little girl,
I hope you enjoy the pancakes they are filled with love and birthday wishes just for you. I'm sorry we are not there, this is a big day, it's not everyday you turn double digits. I called aunt Megan and she is gonna have the best day with you."
Love, dad

I smile remembering the perfectly written note that I still have stored in my closet. "My dads famous pancakes are the best and I have never had a birthday without them he always finds a way. But that day was the only birthday that all of my siblings willingly celebrated together. I was so excited because all my sisters did my make up and we had a fashion show and made Eli and Alex sit and judge. That day they really treated me like a real sister. It was so magical to me, because I felt like I was truly part of the family and it was the best gift I have ever received."

I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt Warrens thumb swipe away the stray tears. I smiled up at him in the mirror, and he greeted me back with a genuine grin.

"Enough of the sappy stuff I have to get ready." I said. While tucking my hair behind my ears and straightened my posture.

As I continued to do my makeup Ren stayed in the same place, except now he was playing with my messy curls. He was mesmerized by the curl that he slowly wrapped around his finger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You can head on downstairs I just have to find my jacket." I said to Ren as he nodded and made his way out of my room.

After a few minutes of sifting through my closet I found my jacket and quickly sprayed some Perfume that smelled of vanilla.

I quickly paused in front of my mirror and saw myself, I looked different. I looked ....happier. These past few months have been horrible, but there is always some good that sprouts from the bad.

I can only hope that this version of me is stronger and more resilient that before.

My head snapped to the side when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I said as I put on a few bracelets that I had sitting on my desk.

"Since when did you look so grown up, my little girl is an adult." A deep but familiar voice spoke from my doorway.

I turned to look at my dad, which instantly brought a small smile to my lips. At least this year he is here, even if it's only for the morning. He was dressed in his suit and tie, telling me that he had to go to work today.

"The last time I checked I look the same as yesterday."I said in a joking tone as he pulled me into a tight hug. I felt secure in his arms, even though we aren't as close as what we used to be I still craved the familiarity of his hugs.

" although I won't be here, I still left a little surprise on the dining table for you!! I do wish I could be here but me and mom have a meeting this afternoon and won't make it back until later." He explained with a sad look on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and it only exaggerated the worry lines that were forming on his forehead.

I gently ran my finger over the wrinkle and smiled up at him. "You worry too much, you have wrinkles."

While rolling his eyes he let out a breathy chuckle while swatting my hand away.

"She left already didn't she?" I asked which only gained me a moment of silence in response.

As dad was about to start talking I put my hand up, " really it's ok, she's never here anyway. Even though she hasn't been here for the past four birthdays." I mentioned with a pitiful and awkward chuckle.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and slowly my dad joined me. I felt his hand slowly rub circles on my back in a comforting way. " I have never understood your mom and her way of dealing with things. She doesn't know how to react after the other day and she can't bring herself to talk to you." He explained white a blank look on his face.

" I don't know, this is no different from the past years she couldn't care less about me or what. Situation I'm in." I said with a tired shrug.

"I know she's not perfect, I know that but just know she loves you. She just has a weird way of showing it." He said which only made me angrier , but I responded with a quite hum of uncertainty.

How could a mother treat her child with such little respect. As far as I'm concerned she has no intention of helping me through anything. I can't remember the last time she was excited to even celebrate my birthday with me.

But I'm determined to not let such a miserable person make my special day miserable. And with that thought I pushed and sad memories of emotions for her away. I was ready to make the most of my birthday.