Chapter 18: Thank The Chef

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 ❀ Lilac POV ❀

I love the smell of paint.

The room that was meant for me to paint in had remained untouched for long enough. So today, I finally decided to start painting.

Angelic paintings of the heavens had always been my favorite. So that's exactly what I had been painting, all day. The window that had been letting in the sun, was now letting in the orange sunset. 

We got back to Portland a few days ago. And I've been suffocating in thoughts.

Number one: I had sex with Ezra. No, it felt like more than sex. Never in my life had I ever been so close to somebody, so vulnerable. 

 Number two: What Asher said to me about telling Ezra I'll never love him, to end his obsession with me. I've thought about it, and it's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe Ezra's obsession with me only continues because he feels as if sooner or later, I'll fall in love with him. 

And number three: The fact that I'm getting married to Ezra soon so that I don't get murdered in my sleep. It's not a real marriage, but I'll still have to take his last name for the time being. 

He told me that it's somebody close to him, but nothing more than that. He says he doesn't know anymore. 

I make my way over to my sink in my bathroom and begin washing the paint off of my hands. 

A figure standing in the doorway makes my eyes lift. When I see it's Asher leaning against my doorway, I lower my eyes back to the sink and continue scrubbing the paint off.

"If you're here to make another plan, spare me," I spoke without lifting my head.

No more running. 

I feel his eyes follow me as I turn the sink off and walk over to the towel on the counter, drying my hands with it.

"Not what I'm here for," he speaks, making my head turn to look at him. 

He stops leaning against the doorway and stands upright. That's when I notice a big white box in his hands. He holds it up slightly, "We're attending a dinner party tonight."

"What's the occasion?" I ask.

"Ezra's opening a new club. Celebratory dinner," he shrugs.

I walk over to him and take the box. I nod, "Okay, you can go now."

"Wait," he says as I walk past him, into my bedroom.

He walks over to me, and I already start thinking if I should kick him in the balls.

"I'm sorry," his words surprise me.

My eyebrows scrunch together.

"You're sorry?" I repeat. 

"I'm not sorry about helping you leave," he clarified. "I'm sorry for the things I've said to you. I don't hate you; I think you're a pretty cool girl, actually. It's just...Ezra's obsession with you when you don't reciprocate those feelings is doomed to fail, you know?"

When you don't reciprocate them.

"Yea, I get it, Asher," I nodded a little more than I should've. "I remember what you said to me - about telling him that I'll never love him."

He let out a sigh, "Just don't worry about that right now. This dinner is a big deal, so just focus on trying to get through it."

I felt my eyebrows lower but had no time for questions before he turned to leave. 

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