Chapter 23: Tell Me Why

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 Lilac POV ❀

Underneath the water, everything was peaceful. There was no noise, no people, no thoughts. 

I just moved in the water, the waves taking my body with it.

But when my head reaches the surface again, that's when everything is no longer peaceful. 

I gasp for air, my lungs burning. Through coughs, I take in as much air as I can, while shivering from the air hitting my wet skin.

Then another wave goes over me, pulling me underwater. I hold my breath, moving in the aggressive water. 

I fight to get to the surface. My muscles burn, the currents so strong. When I reach the surface this time, an explosion pierces my ears. The boat erupts into flames, my eyes wincing from the bright orange color.

Another wave. This one was stronger, pulling me further away and deeper. No matter how hard I try, I can't meet the surface. 

My lungs burn. My muscles burn. I start to panic.

It felt like death was on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't see anything under the cold water, it was completely black. I couldn't tell how far down I was.

While continuing to try and reach the surface, I began to think about my life. If I was satisfied with it. What I had wished I'd done, what I regretted, my favorite memories.

Some flash in my head. 

Speeding down the highway with Ezra the first night I met him.

The field of lilacs.

Seeing the beautiful nature in Bulgaria. 

I reach the surface again. My wet hair sticks to my face. And before I can even take in a breath, I'm back underwater.

Regrets. That's what I thought about most. 

I didn't regret the murders I had done. I didn't care that I had blood-stained hands and had now killed two people.

There was only one thing that I regretted. And that was being too stubborn to admit to Ezra how I feel. 

Not being able to hold my breath anymore, my body starts to turn still. I take in a breath, inhaling the cold water, making my lungs burn.

I regretted not telling him that I'm falling in love with him. 

My vision starts to fade as my chest burns. I feel myself starting to sink.

I let my eyes shut.

I let myself accept death.

Something strong grabs hold of my wrist. I get pulled upward, and the second my head breaks the surface of the water, I gasp for air while coughing. My vision comes back as my lungs are able to fill with air again. 

"Lilac," Ezra says in relief, but worry covers his face. He holds me, able to tell that I'm too weak to keep swimming. 

I take heavy breaths as I stare at him in shock. I whisper, "Ezra?"

Some of his black hair sticks to his forehead. 

Here he was. The devil to the rest of the world. Saving me, once again. Risking his own life to do so. He holds me in the strong waves, even though it makes him have to swim two times as hard. To me, he wasn't evil. He was my guardian angel. 

"You're gonna be okay," he says over the sound of the roaring waves.

I cough again, my lungs still on fire. 

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