Burning Heart // CL16

Six

Imola qualifying Friday, 2022

I screwed my eyes shut as I focused on steadying my breathing and when my chest was no longer rapidly rising and falling I let my head fall back against the door, as I tried to shake off whatever had just happened. There was no point trying to unpack it there and then because I knew that there was no logical answer to be found and I don't know how long I took to get back to where I was meant to be but given the strange look I received from Kiraz when I returned...it had been a while.

I spent the next couple of days in Milan relaxing, far away from Maranello and Bologna where I knew he would be. It was just Kiraz and I at this luxury spa, doing some much needed retail therapy and a quick visit around some art galleries. I bought a lot of lingerie as that was my go-to choice because I could always tell myself that I was doing it for work and I did shoot a lot of content, Kiraz helped me film stuff for YouTube and OnlyFans. I obviously told Kiraz what happened the moment we had exited the boat and were in the safety of a car back to the hotel we were staying in. My confused stammering's over the encounter were received with shock and delight.

She said she was a bit obsessed with the whole situation because she'd never seen me like this and began going on about how his eyes had been on me all day without me ever realising. She then went on to say that he was bound to break up with Marian any day now that he realised that he had feelings for me. Which quickly caused me to snap at her to shut up, hating every word out of her mouth on the topic, all of them making me anxious and bringing more panic and guilt to me with every second that passed as I let my head fall in my hands.

"I haven't asked for a relationship. I don't want to break up a happy couple and I have zero intention of ever being with Charles Leclerc so I bloody hope he has no intention of leaving her. I don't even know him so would you please shut the fuck up!"

It should have meant that I wasn't surprised when we got to the track on Friday, in time for qualifying as it was apparently a 'sprint race' weekend, that she had somehow talked Mattia into getting me to work as a consultant for their media team also, even though I had turned down the offer just days before. I was quickly pulled into a quick meeting with Carlos, Charles and the wider media team as I tried to quickly explain the problems I thought they were having, after I realised that they were seriously lacking in any presence or following online which was remarkable when they had two models for drivers.

I maintained eye contact with Silvia the entire time, avoiding looking at the French speaking driver on my right, whose leg was occasionally bumping against mine as he gave no evidence that he was listening to what I was saying. From the small checks out the corner of my eye, I could see that his eyes were looking straight down, staring so intently I thought he might set fire to the notebook that was in his hands.

The rundown was brief as I told them about current trends and the tricks of TikTok as well as some random recommendations for both Carlos and Charles before running out the room as fast as my legs would take me in my heels. I was so angry with Kiraz when I escaped that I was beyond prepared to give Kiraz the silent treatment for the rest of the day but a moment later that's the last thing on my mind as we walk into the garage and see Marian harassing one of the engineers to take her photo by Charles' car.

I stopped mid step, feeling like someone had punched the air out of my lungs. She was smiling, not a care in the world, stood in front of his car like she owned it. I guess in some ways she did but damn it hurt more than I had expected, my guilt coming to the surface and was more than a little evident on my face. My silent look towards Kiraz was enough to let her know that I needed help as she ushered me towards where I usually stood on Carlos' side of the garage, a supportive arm around my waist as I tried desperately to shake off the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.