Burning Heart // CL16

Forty Four

"So... you bumped into Max earlier?" Charles asks after a minute of wrestling with what question to start with. It was pretty obvious even from where I was sat across the table from him as he kept shifting in his seat nervously. I'm nervous too, i just don't want to show it as my mind wonders to Ruby just a few doors away to remind myself why I'm here. I just nod as I continue to eat the pizza slices, noticing how his hair was a little wet from a shower he must have had and he was wearing a black T-shirt stretched across his torso to show how well developed his muscles had become. Damn, it was a good thing I was basically spending my days isolated in my room because seeing him here right now was making me kind of slightly forget why I was here in the first place. "How was that?"

"Alright? I guess... I met Kelly and Penelope," I tell him between bites of pizza, he waits for me to say something else and I swallow down some of the food as I try to remember the parts of his conversation I just overheard. "They invited us to something at their's in a couple of days," I tell him and he nods knowingly, waiting to see if I offer him anything else. "They said they wanted to come round here as well..." I mumble, averting my eyes down to my phone as I see a message from Christian.

I can keep covering but I don't want to make any wrong decisions and we need some big ones made before the end of this financial year so need your input in the next couple of weeks on direction and budget decisions. Can you call me tomorrow so we can discuss Grin(d)?

I frown at the message, aware of the fairness of his words but feeling the slight stabbing in my chest that I was so distracted from my work because of the mess that this had become, meaning what I'd said to Charles back in the hotel in London. I wished I had never told him. I put my pizza down and wipe my fingers on the kitchen roll Charles had brought out as I run a frustrated hand over my face and figure out a response to the question while ignoring Charles's eyes on me like I was a puzzle he wanted to solve.

Yes, I'm normally free around 10-1 x

"Yeah... I keep on avoiding it until you're settled. Well, until we're all settled..." Charles tells me, bringing my attention back to him and I look up in surprise and put my phone down, face down as I remember why I'm here. "This is a new home to me too... it's very big," he says with a smile and I just nod, no emotion on my face but mentally I have to agree. It's the same size, if not a little bit bigger than my home back in Scotland. It just didn't feel right though and because I'd only had long enough to pick up some of my clothes and Ruby's clothes and toys before we had to be in Monaco. Naturally I prioritised Ruby's stuff so that she wouldn't go mental when we arrived but it meant that I'd largely been living out of a suitcase since arriving. "Do you want to go?" He asks, bringing my attention back to the question at hand although my mind had wandered much further, something I could tell he had figured out already.

"You want my opinion on something now?" I ask him, before I can help myself and he just sighs but doesn't flinch, seemingly expecting the outburst although I was cursing myself. "Just tell me if you want it to happen. I'll figure it out," I tell him afterwards, too tired to argue as I take another slice of pizza as we fall back into silence, occasionally catching each other staring from the other side of the table.

"What can I do?" He asks quietly just as I was going to swallow another slice of pizza, almost choking lightly. "T-to make you more comfortable here?"

"I am comfortable here... it's a nice flat," I tell him nervously, about a thousand thoughts running through my mind and not many of them positive as he chuckles and shakes his head. I'm trying not to be a bitch, I just don't think I'm doing a particularly good job. But considering I never meant to spend any of my life with another person, I'm doing the best I can right now. I never wanted a partner, I didn't want this and I hated this dependency I'd formed and created with Charles. I hated it before Ruby was around and now I was terrified because while my personal fondness for Charles had long since disappeared, I needed him on my side with Ruby and I resented that so much.