Burning Heart // CL16

Nineteen

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

That was actually a mis-remembering of the quote, the actual one was longer than that and fit even more appropriately to this situation I found myself in.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned."

Nothing can cause as much anger as a good thing gone bad. A moment of happiness, ruined by a lie. It wouldn't have hurt so much if I knew he was an asshole, if I hadn't let myself believe that maybe he was different to the rest. If he hadn't seemed like the perfect guy that Ferrari made him out to be. But now I knew better, as far as I was concerned, Charles Leclerc was as much of a prick as the next guy.

If I hadn't let myself believe that he really wanted me.

Well, wanted me for something more than a release...I still couldn't quite comprehend how cheated I felt by the whole situation, how angry I was over being taken advantage of - how much my hands were still shaking with anger all the way up until the moment we got into the Ferrari garage on the Sunday after having had every single eye in the paddock on myself and Kiraz as we made our entrance. I felt beyond hot after I had taken my jacket off part way down and shown the real fit off with, my red sole heels perfectly off-setting the rest of the outfit when paired with the grey and red Ferrari themed Birkin purse.

The moment we stepped into the garage though, that all faded away as I chose to look to my left, rather than avoid the issue I pulled Kiraz over with me to his side of the garage and she let me lead her, finally catching on to what I was doing as I stopped in front of Marian who looked up shocked to see me in that half of the garage.

"Hi," she says softly and I just smile at her innocently, ignoring the looks of the engineers and other Ferrari workers on us.

"Hiya, I just realised that despite being here for...I don't even know how many weeks at this point, I've only watched the race from this side of the garage once and it was Monaco," I say with a smile so bright and fake that it hurts my cheeks as I raise the sunglasses off my face and get her blue eyes to meet mine. "Would it be okay if we joined you today?" I ask with a smile. Marian has the grace to just smile and nod, confusion clouding her eyes but I can see that she's happy at the question and I try hard to ignore the new guilt building in my stomach - suddenly realising how much I had unknowingly excluded her by standing on Carlos' side with Isa every week.

In that moment, I found myself rethinking every interaction and word I'd heard about her and realised as I spoke to her for the next few minutes that I was talking to a softer, kinder version that I hadn't really met before. The version Charles fell in love with, so different to the vapid narcissist I had seen and spoken to before.

That hurt, that realisation...between that and the guilt it was almost overwhelming - the thing was that it didn't overpower the intense anger that was also building with those realisations and my decision was only boosted when Charles walked into the garage twenty minutes later and literally stood frozen in the entryway upon seeing me talking and smiling with just Marian - Kiraz having excused herself to catch-up with Isa on an influencer event they were both planning on attending.

I had to bite down on my lip to not let out a laugh as he finally came to his senses and approached us cautiously, his eyes murky with a mixture of emotions.

Confusion, panic, worry, guilt...

"Hello, Alessia?" He says my name as a question, clearly caught off guard and I smile sweetly as I place a hand on Marian's leg with a degree of calm I had no idea I possessed given the situation I was in. I could see Isa and Kiraz watching from across the garage, eager to see if I was about to cause a scene and jump in to stop it if I did.