Masked Love -Mattheo Riddle

34. Grief and Acceptance

I've been lazy for like the week, finally got to writing this.
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Lyra's POV:

Eliana and I hurried out to see the commotion.

Almost Everyone was in the sitting room, Pansy was trying to comfort a weeping Astoria whose face was hidden behind her hands as she weeped.

Jessica came down running just then and her eyes were wide as she looked at Astoria then at us to ask what was going on but we had no clue.

Everyone else has their heads low. Theodore wasn't here, neither was Kayla. Asher was here at a corner keeping to himself, while everyone else looked grief stricken.

Draco and Blaise stood in one corner, Enzo and Marcus were in another corner. Riddle was staring blankly at the wall but his face was filled with anger, Ezra was sat in an armchair with his head in his hand.

We were confused as we watched Astoria weep and Pansy look on the verge of tears but trying desperately to hold it together.

I slowly walked up to Astoria, who was sat on the couch with Pansy beside her who had her hand rubbing circles on her back comforting her.

I knelt in front of her and put one hand of her thigh as she looked up from her hands and at me. Her face was damp with tears, her usual perfect make up, smudged, her nose runny and eyes red and swollen cheeks.

"A-Astoria, what happened?" I asked gently while slowly rubbing her knee in a comforting manner.

"S-she she's gone." She muttered through broken sobs.

It broke me to see the sweet confident girl I love in this broken state. She seems so broken, so lost, like she's lost everything.

"Who's gone?" I asked as affectionately as I could. She was already upset, I needed to be as gentle as I could. I understood what was happening, but at the same time I needed more clarity.

"D-Daphne" she whispered while her eyes looked hollow as if she had lost her soul and suddenly got up, startling me, and running past everyone and storming to her room, as Pansy hurriedly followed while tears ran down her own face.

I sat there as my eyes started to water up, my mouth agape and arms starting to shake as her words ran through my head, almost blocking out the sound of Pansy sobbing and banging on Astoria's door for her to open, before she finally understood she needed some and ran up to her own room, as Blaise tried following her but was held back by Draco signaling she too needed space.

A few tears slipped down my cheeks as I quickly rubbed them off and got up noticing Riddle's eyes on me a they softened ever so slightly before I ran up to my own room.

I had witnessed my own mothers death at a young age. I witnessed my brother's heartless actions and selling his soul to this evil cause, I witnessed my sister's fear and sad upbringing no matter how much I tried to avoid it, I witnessed all the horrible insufferable things my father had done alongside his deatheaters. After witnessing all this pain and grief, I expected to be numb, completely incapable of such levels of grief, I thought I had been through so much I could never cry over so much as another's death or loss.

But I was wrong. So fucking wrong. It hurt and it hurt like a bitch. No matter what I go through I can never be immune to grief, I can never not feel the pain, even if it isn't mine.

I've sometimes thought my emotions being weaknesses, at the same time I knew their importance, and how much I want everyone I love to feel them, but I myself wanted to be numb, incapable, immune, I tried and tried to stop myself from feeling, from feeling the pain, because it hurts so fucking much, I wanted to run away, I wanted to not feel anything no matter how big of an issue it was. But deep down I knew I was only delusional. I could never stop caring no matter how much I tried. It was a part of me, one that can never be lost, I need this, I need to grieve to feel human, as much as I tried I can't convince myself, no matter what shit life threw at me and no matter how maturely I tried to Handel it, I was still a teenage girl and feeling numb would only cause me doubt my existence more instead of not feeling pain, I'd feel as if I was a lost body less soul with nowhere to belong.

But I know that's not it. I do have a place, a place to where I belong, with my friends, my sister, my masked lover whoever he may be, I have to accept the fact that I love him, that I love all of them and it is my duty to do whatever I can to protect them and make sure they don't feel the same grief.

I'd rather go down fighting than watch the people I love, place I call home, the only things that bring me joy and the reasons i  wake up every morning instead of falling into an eternal slumber, be demolished and destroyed.

I was never particularly close with Daphne. But I loved her nonetheless. Astoria was everything to her, and vice versa. I can't imagine what Her sister's death must feel like, I can't imagine my own. She was always so sweet and positive, now she'll forever be gone.

As I sat on the far corner of my room, my legs held up to my chest with my arms and head resting on them as tears slipped down staining my face, arms and skirt, I thought of all the things we all want in life, and how easily with the results of one war they could all be gone.

I had almost forgotten about Theodore, he always made it quite obvious he liked Daphne, probably why he wasn't downstairs, the poor boy must feel so lost.

Daphne was a sweet soul who will forever be missed but her death won't be meaningless. Her memory will be cherished and her affection will live on and this war will only end in one way, the right way.

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I woke up startled, and realized I had fallen asleep in the same position, as I heard soft knocks on my door.

I got up and looked in the mirror next to me to see my cheeks and face swollen and dry tears staining them.

I walked to my door and slowly opened it to reveal Eliana, Jessica, Marcus and Ezra.

Marcus looked at his shoes, eyes red, Ezra on the other hand looked more mad and saddened, and Eliana's eyes were swollen and I could see a few dried tears on her cheeks but her expression was stern but I could tell she less upset. Jessica simply looked broken, I know how much daphne meant to her, they were really close and had a a lot in common.

I silently moved aside and let them in then closed the door behind me.

"Lyra, I've given your words some thought, and you're right, we can't sit here and do nothing, we're needed at hogwarts.

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I'm sorry, I reread the cast and yeah this needed to happen.

Ily 😭