Masked Love -Mattheo Riddle

36. Distraught

OoOoO
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Lyra's POV:

It's been a week and five days, we leave tomorrow night.

We've told Pansy and Astoria, Marcus told Enzo and Jess told Draco, I don't know if any one else knows.

I've packed my necessities, like some pairs of clothes, my pocket knife, some other things and most importantly, my letters, I've decided they're too important to leave and I'll send them to Lucinda to hide in my room for safe keeping, they mean a lot to me and remind me I'm not the only one waiting on hope that's most likely false.

I've read my most recent letter over and over again to get some peace of mind.

My Nightingale,

It's been awhile since I last wrote to you. As always, I miss you. Just a couple more months, the war, then finally I'll get to see you without your mask. I hope you're safe, I myself haven't felt very well recently, no matter how the war ends, promise me you'll be alright, you're the only thought keeping me sane right now. Please tell me you're safe.

Love,
Your Raven.

Each time I read it, feel more and more afraid if I'll be able to keep that promise, or if I'll get to see him again.  I've tried several times but I can't get myself to write back. I'm not even sure what to write, but he told me to tell him I'm safe, but I'm scared if I'll stay safe, so I can't write back. I know he must be worried not having received my letter in almost two weeks, but I can't do this, I'll just have to hope he doesn't get too frightened and think the worst.

We've asked Pansy and Astoria if they'd like to join us, they said they'd help but they can't leave, Astoria is scared especially after Daphne, we tried telling her she'd be safe, but she refused to hide when her sister couldn't. Pansy said she's staying with Astoria and has no wishes to leave but they'd help us.

Draco and Enzo couldn't leave, Draco was scared if his father and Enzo was scared of his family and at the same time he was loyal to his friends and especially Riddle.

Speaking of Riddle, he's grown very distant, lashing out at the smallest things, he barely ate, his olive skin started to pale and the gleam that always seemed to shine in his hazel eyes disappeared into bitterness, as if he'd received news that someone he deeply cared for has passed. He even pushed away Kayla, something I'm not complaining about. We've always shared a hatred for each other, but it never went as high as actually wishing the other's death, I do remember us being friends before, a long time ago, that's past us now, but still I feel drawn to his neglect and sadness in some way, as if I've caused it.

I myself haven't been well, I've separated myself from others most of the time, we all have but I suppose it's far more visible to others than myself how much I've changed.

It was around dinner time, I decided to skip, Marcus came to ask if he should bring me a plate but I refused. Marcus has really been trying to lighten everyone's moods, jokes, movies, drinks, he's trying but I don't want any of this, I just want this war to end already, it feels like it's already started with how much I've been over thinking.

I was alone in my room, Dinner was probably over by now.

I walked up to my balcony, taking a good look at the stars. I stood up on the railing and jumped.