A Man Has Horns // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 30 - Closed Eyes**

"Oh my god ahahaha," I cried out grabbing Sebastian's hand tightly as I looked over the edge of the building where I had just sat down. The vastness around us drowned my cries and I was dizzy with adrenaline and vertigo. 

Finally the air between us resumed as before the confrontation. 

I kept clutching him not even wanting to. I needed to. 

"Relax," he laughed, seemingly completely unbothered by the height. "I won't let you fall." 

I loosened my grip and tried to breathe slower to lower my heart rate. I fell the pounding sensation not budging. I resumed gripping his hand as hard as I had before. 

Sebastian just sat smiling. 

"It's the wind," I said as a gust blows a lock of hair across my face. "It makes me feel unsteady." 

"You fly brilliantly, you can't be afraid of heights," he interjected as another gust of wind came now ruffling his hair. 

"I am holding on to something when I fly," I tell him off feeling as if I am in mid fits of laughter from how my stomach and chest feels. 

Sebastian just rose the hand I was clutching, "Like this?"

I laughed, feeling like I was releasing the pent up pressure in my chest. 

We looked over Hogwarts and the starry sky. I felt tiny with all the towers and buildings, lands and mountains sprawled across us. 

I turned to see Sebastian's profile as he was looking at the castle himself. I looked at his chest as it rose and descended from his breath. It felt electrifying to be with him.

He caught me looking and turned his head to me, shuffling to have his other leg bent, the other still dangling so he could face his body completely to me. 

I followed suit, clutching his hand carefully not to make a wrong step.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him, finally releasing his hand as I felt more stable as more than half of my body was grounded.

It felt like it was just us in the whole world. 

"I slept very badly fourth year," Sebastian started. "After Anne got cursed, I wandered after curfew often. Usually after being in the library for hours."

I saw the familiar flood of solomness in his eyes. 

"So..." he continued, trying not to sink deeper into the grief, "I walked around one night and I made it to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Because I had nowhere to go, I just stood around and looked until I caught sight of this small latch," he pointed at the little space we entered. "After that I would come here often when I just felt like I needed... air."

He was breathing deeply, the wind blowing around us. All the instances of him raising his hands over his head to catch air... This was essentially his panic room.

"You associated a date with me with needing more air?" I quipped at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yes," he answered confidently, directly and simply with a small smile. "My turn with questions," he says, adjusting his bent leg next to him.

"Go on," I smiled and wait. 

He pinched his lips starring into the distance as he cracks his knuckles. 

"What did you think of me in 5th year?" he finally says and looks at me. 

So it was that kind of a night. 

I stopped to think a little, scrunching my nose as if to show him I was pondering. "You were quite rude when I had walked up to you. But then you immediately changed your tone when you looked up at me from your book," I finally said.