Taekooked × Oneshots

💜 Dead Leaves

Why is it that when I hold your hand, it becomes like ice. You're like snow, beautiful but cold. It has been a while since you left. You're coming back home... to me. Right, Kookie?

I remember it was Autumn when you left. It was cold, just like the feeling of emptiness when you aren't with me. My life lost its colors because you took our rainbow of memories with you, all I see is gray. I lost my heart, too, because you also took it with you. I lost my entire world because I lost you.

What did I do to ever deserve this kind of suffering? Maybe I was too dense to notice my faults. What did I do for you to leave me? I may sound selfish but I am, I have been selfish of you. Remember when I don't share you with the other hyungs especially Jimin? It's because I was afraid you'd love them more than me. I was afraid that my Kookie would be taken away.

Outside, it's Autumn again, exactly three years since you didn't say goodbye but left. I see a single leaf hanging onto the branch. That leaf? It could be me, Kookie. I'm holding on for what? Please give me a reason to hold on longer. Because I'm about to fall. I am losing my strength but if it means not losing you. I'm tired but I'll fight for whatever it takes. For you.

Leaves were scattered around as I took a walk today. The leaves were colorful but they were dry leaves nonetheless. What's the use of their beauty when they're already dead? Autumn used to be my favorite season, Autumn was the day you left me. Autumn holds a bittersweet feeling now; I love it but it's hurting me. Just like you, Jungkook.

I know you don't deserve this kind of pain and you know that I don't, too. Kookie, come back. I'm sorry for being possessive, I'm sorry for annoying you, I'm sorry for hurting you. I need you.

Remember when we used to listen to raindrops and thought the rain was beautiful? Kookie, the sky is crying again. I want to listen to raindrops with you again. I want to see the rain as beautiful as we saw it before. The rain lost its beauty when you left me.

Was it just yesterday when we talked about our future? That we'd somehow create a family we can call our own? Imagining our little Taegeuk running around while we hold hands and do couple stuff or something? I'm sorry, I'm really not a romantic person. But for you, I could be, I'd try. If you ever come back to me, which I'm hoping for.

Remember when we would stare at the skies for hours? Crystal blue skies are lost inside dark storm clouds without you. Don't you miss me, too? Why aren't you responding? Jungkook, I'm here waiting.

At times I feel like I don't have to wait anymore. I've been hurting. The hyungs say I have to let you go. And everytime someone says that I hurt inside. There's something telling me to hold on. Why can't I give up on you yet? I'm still holding on as I have been doing for you, for us. I'm not letting you go. I'll forever be waiting for the day that you'll wake up, Kookie.

November 15, 2020, Today marks the third year anniversary of Bangtan Sonyeondan's tragic accident which led their maknae, Jeon Jungkook in coma. Fans are slowly losing faith that the idol will wake up but the members' hope remain as strong as yesterday, this has been Park Yoora.

People aren't believing in you anymore. Who the hell cares? Nobody needs them. I only need you.

I'll never lose you, Jungkook. I'll be waiting. Even if it takes forever. Please wake up.

Never fall.

-Taehyungie

🍂

terrible angst.