Ch 19.2: I Held You And You Were In Tears

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TREVOR~

The foreboding atmosphere awhile ago turns into an aura of confusion. I remain down on my knees, trying to find out what caused me do such actions. I don't regret being down here though. It just shows that the Trevor they know has a room for change. That I learned about pride the hard way. That I know what things I prioritize, and what things I value. I take in a deep breath and repeat, "I'm sorry."

It's hard for me to sense what's going on around me. Zephyr taking a step back is the only thing I'm sure of.

"Radburn, that's enough. Get up." It's Brent, no doubt. "I said get up, Radburn." As much as I'm willing to do so, I choose to disobey.

"Hey Trevor, cut that out." Arms try to pull me up by lifting me by the torso. A pull on my arm aids the first one, and I had no choice but to follow. It is then I realize that it was Xavier and Rick who pulled me up.

Looking up in slow motion, slowly returning to reality, I face Zephyr once again, only to be relieved that the tension that was building up is gone. His forehead may still be creased though but I get the feeling that he refuses to say anything. I wear an impassive face in return and he scoffs at me. He turns his back at me and proceeds to the stage.

A gentle pat on the shoulder makes me turn my head. "You'll need to explain things to me later," Brent says in a calm voice. He doesn't sound angry at all, unlike how I expect him to be. I give him a nod as a reply.

I retrieve my guitar from Jax and drag my body to the stage.

I want our set to finish already. I want to get this over with. I want to return to her.

Zephyr gives the crowd our introductions and apologizes for the delay. We proceed to play the songs in our list to them. My bandmates jump around, being more energetic than how they've usually been, but I can't being myself to join them. I'm just not in the mood for anything right now.

A couple of songs finish and we're finally going to play our last song, The Aftermath. Kailey should've been aware that the song will start any second now, and that she should have been at the backstage last two songs ago. Where could she be?

I hate the thought of her not showing up at all. She told me she'll be okay. I should not have believed the lie.

I have already wasted ten minutes of our set, so the band decides to not waste anymore time and continue without her. But, a part of me still wants to believe her saying that she'll be okay. I'll still be waiting for her to come onstage.

It is agreed upon that I do the clean vocals and Zephyr does both high and low pitched screams. I didn't make arguments about it. It just saddens me that I'm going to have to sing her part. I don't want it, and for sure, so does Manila. I tell Zephyr not to tell the audience about Kailey for I am still hopeful that she'll show up.

We start the intro of the song with a heavy riff and eventually, with Zephyr's flexible screaming. All of the bodies around me, I hear their voices inside!

We need to overlap voices, so I proceed, The battle's over, this war has been won. It's such a surprise how I am able to remember her parts on the song. Visions haunt me in my dreams, visions of what I've done. So much bloodshed, now I am worthy to come home...

The audience does not seem happy about this. It is obvious that they're curious on the whereabouts of the heroine in this song's music video. 

Is it even wise to wait for her, when it seems that she won't be joining us onstage tonight? We just finished the second verse and are starting the second chorus. The song's approaching its end and there's still no sign of her. 

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