Rockstar Serenade: The Chorus

Ch 40: Is This Where The Curtain Falls?

KAILEY~

The ceiling. It’s white. Painted like there are pieces of egg shells pasted on it, but still, it’s white. The jagged look makes it annoying, utterly frustrating as I point out the imperfection. Then there are black checkers that ruin the monochrome. Annoying, and completely frustrating. However, tired, frustrated, depressed and dispirited as I am, I could not move a facial muscle to at least frown.

There at the mundane art pattern I see his eyes stare back at me, furious, at the same time unwelcoming, as I feel the heat of the sun’s rays warm my denims, like the heat of his anger I felt that day. It haunts me whenever I return to the memory, and I couldn’t be more terrified at Trevor’s angry side. But, I am to blame here, aren’t I?

It kills me whenever we happen to come across each other in the halls, with the brief, millisecond-long eye contacts as our only communication. I’d bow my head in shame, being reminded of the childish prank I played on him before.

I always knew he wouldn’t be able to take this lightly. Hell, Trevor’s a hothead, and I’m one who can’t control a turmoil of emotions. What a freakin’ perfect match.

A sting of why-questions pounds my poor little head. I feel like drowning. I feel like I wanna disappear forever, like I wish I was never here in the first place. It feels like I wanna give up, like I’d willingly have a vortex suck me out of here and into oblivion. I hate this life. From that moment Trevor told me he loved me I knew I’d walk into another death trap, now, here I am—devastated, a total wreck, a sad excuse for a human being who won’t even consider moving a limb.

Two knocks on my hotel room’s door, and I only manage a low “The door’s open” in a sluggish voice.

 “Kailey!” The one who knocked on my door is Keana, and by the enthusiasm in her tone, I bet she’s got some good news to tell.

“What is it?” I ask, still not moving.

I hear her clap her hands once. “Aldwin and Mark, they’re shouting at each other's faces!”

“Eh? Interesting.” Aldwin is Archer’s Ashen Wings’ lead singer and Mark is Infinite Escape’s bassist. I have absolutely no idea why would two friends fight at this time of the day, when they should be sleeping, or having snacks or chilling at the bar. “Why so?”

I wouldn’t be surprised if Keana found it exciting. I have mentioned that I hate—not exactly hate, just dislike—the whole band Archer’s Ashen Wings, but Keana loathes them. Well, that’s predictable when you ex is the drummer of a group of assholes toying around their fans.

“Aldwin saw Mark sucking faces with Morgan!” she says, and finishes with an evil hyena laugh.

Ah, of course. That female rhythm guitarist has finally come to her senses and realized that she deserves better than that lead singer for a jerk of theirs.

“That’s nice.” I say nothing further.

“But they’re still fighting! By the elevator! Let’s go and watch them!”

Keana knows that I don’t favor that AAW as well, much more that Aldwin, but that fight is none of my concern now. “No, thanks.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun!” she says rather sulkily. “See you later, then,” she bids and then closes the door, but re-opens it. “Is your lip bleeding?”

“No.”

“Uhm, okay.” She shuts the door and is now gone for good.

I lick my lower lip, right where I suspect the bleeding is. She’s right; I taste the metallic flavor and smell the metallic scent of blood. I’ve been grinding on it for so long, and I’m not even aware of it.