Chapter 31; shh & it's okay

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Chapter 31

I had cried liters throughout the funeral and it was finally the time for my speech. No one gave a speech except for me so I walked to the podium and took out the little paper with my speech on it.

I took a deep breath before I started my speech, "Teresa has always been the most important person in my life. I would talk about every little problem I had and we would just sat down sometimes and talk for hours. She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her."

"She was the most caring and nicest person I know and she was always there for me and gave me the best advice. I learned a lot from her and even let other people in my life who kept me company and were always there when I needed them," I looked at Niall, Noah, Kim, Riley and even Harry. They all smiled widely as I continued.

"She didn't tell me her biggest secret but it was to protect me from suffering with her. She did kept her illness a secret so I wouldn't worry about her. That night when I heard a loud thud and ran to the kitchen to see her pale, unconscious body laying on the floor I broke down crying and I've never cried so much in my life."

I thought back to the moment and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I didn't know what was going on and all I wanted was to help her but she already knew that her time was up. She did told me that she wasn't sad or scared to leave this world because she would see her husband and son after all but she was scared for me. She treated me like her own daughter and didn't want me to grieve over her death but I told her that I couldn't be happy after she's gone at least not anytime soon."

"Her last words for me were 'Stars don't shine without darkness'. I had the past week to figure out what exactly she meant by that but the more time passed the more I understood her wise words. Everyone connects another meanings to it so I won't explain what I think about it. All I'll say is that I love her and even though she's gone...I will always love her as much as she loved me."

I finished my long speech after a while and was quiet happy that I didn't break down crying. I got down the podium and fell into Kim's open arms. I needed to let it out so I cried.

"shh, it's okay."

She stroked my hair and kissed my head a few times to calm me down. She took my hand in hers as we walked to where they would lower the coffin into the ground. Riley slipped her little hand in my other and kissed it, making me smile.

Everyone got handed a simple pink rose which was Teresa's favorite flower. One by one threw the rose on top of the coffin before she got buried completely.

"Let's go to mine," I suggest my friends and they all nodded except for Harry. "I guess you can come too," I offered him and he send me a small smile before nodding his head.

We got into our different cars and I told Shawn I would drive with Kim, Noah & Riley.

Soon we got to my penthouse and it pained me every time I had to go in. All the memories I had with Teresa just haunted me constantly.

Maybe I should move out.

"By the way, I took over for you and held contact to Mr. Malik. He told me that everything is down and the expansion can be done whenever you want," Niall told me and I smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you so much."

He nodded and smiled back before engulfing me in a hug.

"So you guys want to change?" I asked but the boys shook there heads. Kim nodded and took out a bag with clothes for Riley. Us girls went to my room and we looked through my closet section, labeled: comfortable clothes.

Kim settled on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. She then dressed Riley in a shirt and some casual, comfortable, girl tights. I took out a pair of sweatpants as well and I hoodie before I took three of Harry's shirts so the boys had a little more comfortable clothes on.

We went down the stairs and I threw them each a shirt. "I hope you don't mind," I asked Harry and he just shook his head. They all unbuttoned their shirts and I held my hands in front of Riley's eyes as I looked on the floor.

Riley giggled and I lifted my head a little to see Harry lifting his arms over his head to pull his shirt on. I quickly looked back down and we all sat on the couch in my living room.

The boys turned the TV on and watched a football game whilst Kim & I talked about girl stuff. "I was thinking about moving out," I suddenly admitted and Kim looked at me with wide eyes.

"Really?"

I nodded and she stood up before grabbing my laptop from the table. "then let's see what we got," she grinned and we looked for apartments and houses. I did wanted a house because I was planning on driving myself and not let Shawn drive me so I needed a garage and I wanted a pool.

"You want a house by yourself?" Kim asked me with a raised eyebrow. "Well, if a certain person didn't mess up then I would've someone with me but for now I'm okay with that I just need to get out of here."

Kim shot me a sympathetic glance before we continued searching for houses close by.

"Let's continue this some other time," I said as I lost my will to look through millions of houses on the internet. Kim agreed and placed the laptop on the glass table in front of the couch.

"I'm hungry!" Niall suddenly exclaimed and almost everyone agreed right away. "Alright I guess I'll get the food who'll join me?" Niall asked ad he stared at us whilst his stomach growled.

I laughed and volunteered to come along at the same time...

"I will."

I looked over at Harry for a split second before I got up. "You know what Niall? I'll get it alone, it's fine."

Niall shrugged and nodded and I asked for his car keys. He handed them over but before I could take them someone else did. "I'll help," Harry insisted and I simply shrugged and put on a pair of sneakers before I left the penthouse with Harry following me.

"Can we stop at an electronic shop or at the apple store around the corner?" I asked him as he got into the drivers seat. He nodded and drove off. He took a right and soon the apple store came into view.

"You can stay here," I said before quickly getting into the shop. I still didn't had a phone so I looked through the phones and decided to buy the iPhone 6s in space gray since I thought that the new 7 wasn't necessary and just weird without the hole for my headphones. I told one of the shop assistance what I wanted and payed for the phone.

Not long after that I got back into the car and Harry drove off to the nearest McDonald's. We drove through the drive in and discussed what we should order. I leaned over to speak and just ordered what I thought everyone would be happy with.

I had ordered a Happy Meal for Riley then three Big Mac menus and two chicken McNuggets menus along with all the drinks and fries. I then thought about Niall & Noah who ate more then all of us together and ordered five cheeseburgers and two extra fries. "That should be it right?" I asked Harry who just nodded.

Even though Harry wanted to pay I shot daggers at him and payed for everything.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

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I have 7 fucking exams before Christmas and I'm so going to die so pleaaaase don't be mad if I forget to update or just don't have the time! Love you guys ❤️

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