Sink Into Me

39: Storm

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"What is it?"

I glanced out the window. The sun had come up. There was no way of Tate leaving the library now. And I knew Kate and Sam were at their parents so they won't be interrupting. It's just the matter of starting the conversation or argument in our case. Because there is no way that this will not turn into an argument. Not with our track record.

I inhaled a shaky breath and shrugged off my coat and jacket. 

"Evangeline, what is it? You're beginning to worry me."

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Twelve-thirty. This will be long winded without a doubt.

"Do you trust me?" I started.

His green eyes looked relieved all of a sudden but the worry still resided there. "With my entire being."

I shut my eyes when I said, "So whatever I say, you'll understand that I know what I am doing. That I'd done this to help you. To help us."

There wasn't an answer and I was afraid to open my eyes. "I've been doing something that I know you won't like. So what I tell you is because the guilt has been eating me alive. I'm telling you because we made a deal at the beginning of our relationship that we had no secrets."

I heard the desk chair move but I didn't open my eyes to see whether he'd stood or came closer. 

It had to be said now. The order of how everything needed to be said without me sounding like a horrible human being was lined up in my head and ready. Although, the more I thought about, it wouldn't matter what order it went in.

I am still a horrible human being.

"That night at the party three weeks ago... I saw the vampire out in the woods. I went looking for him. I lied." I sighed. I just have to let everything roll off my tongue... "And then our date? After he took me? He didn't make me forget, I remember everything. He told me not to say anything but it was because he threatened Aaron. He threatened that someone would make him their snack. So I couldn't tell you. He said he'd know if I told you. So I lied again. When I went out to the bar last week with John and Sam, I saw him again. He said something like you couldn't stake me if you tried and I replied with... Want a bet. And then after John drove me to your house he was there waving me to go over to him. He asked me to meet him." 

I paused to take a breath. I still hadn't opened my eyes and the silence in his study had become horrible. I was afraid to look... So I carried on.

"That Saturday I spent the day with you. And then I said I was going to my parents. I didn't lie that time. I did. But I went after I saw him." 

For some reason, something in my mind stopped me from telling him what we did that night. I didn't know why but I couldn't get the words past my lips. Was it the fact that Tate trusted me now that me telling Michael all of this had me feeling slightly... guilty? This chain never ends...

"Tuesday after your lecture he was in the library. He couldn't go out in the sun so he waited in a dark area of the library until later on. I didn't know he was going to be there. He pulled me over and... I stayed with him while... Your lecture went on." As I said everything it felt like the weight of everything was getting heavier. That telling him had made everything a whole lot worse. "And... Today..." I clenched my hands at my side and squeezed my eyes tighter. "Again, he was there."

Once again nothing came out about what happened. Neither did the fact he'd asked me to meet him again on Monday which I decided I wouldn't. I couldn't.

As the silence wore on, I finally opened my eyes.