Just The Strings (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 53

#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 53

I felt like I was losing my mind. Dalawang araw na ang lumipas pero naiisip ko pa rin iyong sinabi ni Saint. And I knew I shouldn't think about it. We're done. He ended us. Dapat hindi na ako nag-iisip ng ganito. It would just end up with me being sucked back into that vortex. Kaya naman bago pa ako mabaliw sa kakaisip, naisipan ko na bumaba.

Pasakay na sana ako sa elevator nung magulat ako nung bumaba galing doon si Parker. Napa-kurap ako. Ilang beses.

"Good morning," he greeted with a smile on his face.

"Uhh... good morning din?"

He raised his hands and showed me a paper bag.

"Brought your breakfast. Kumain ka na ba?"

I shook my head. I couldn't consider cereals as breakfast. I needed rice... something I never appreciated nung sa bahay pa ako nakatira. Hindi man lang ako marunong gumamit ng rice cooker. Pakiramdam ko talaga magugutom ako sa unit na 'to.

"Ano 'yung dala mo?" I dared ask. Recovery Food kasi iyong nakalagay sa hawak niyang paper bag. Pakiramdam ko kailangan ko nang maka-recover sa gutom. Two days na puro cereals and oatmeal lang ang kinain ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit.

"Tapa de morning," he replied.

I felt like my eyes twinkled. Bigla namang natawa si Parker sa reaction ko. Pinapasok ko siya sa unit ko.

"Sorry, I'm not yet done unpacking," I said as I tried to keep things out of his way. I was really done packing. Natapos ko na lahat dahil sumasakit ang ulo ko kapag may kalat. Hindi ko lang talaga naitabi iyong mga ginamit ko kagabi nung nagpaint ako. Sobrang antok ko na kasi.

"You did this?" he asked as he pointed at the canvass that I just finished. I nodded. "You're really good at this," he said, still looking at the painting.

"Uhhh thank you," I replied. I still didn't feel comfortable taking compliments. I never really showed my art to anyone. I used to paint only for myself—whenever I was feeling extreme emotions. I didn't always feel like talking. Sometimes, talking felt overrated so I turned to art to express what I was feeling. It had always been that way since I was younger. Hanggang ngayon, nadala ko pa rin iyon. I really didn't know when I should verbally explain myself. I was more attuned to keeping it all in.

"Wait, I'll get plates for us," I said.

And since I still didn't memorize the unit, I stumbled while finding the missing plates. I couldn't believe I had been living here for a few days at hindi ko man lang alam kung nasaan ang mga plato! But Mama shouldn't know about this dahil sigurado ako na papapuntahin niya si Manang para samahan ako.

"There you are," I said. Nasa taas na cabinet iyong mga plato. Tumingkayad ako para maabot ko siya pero masyadong mataas. I was trying to reach for it nung—

Hala siya.

"There," Parker said as he reached for the plates. While I was in between his arms. And he was standing too close. I could feel him behind me. Nahigit ko iyong hininga ko. He was really too effing close. "Why are your plates there? Ang taas masyado," he commented. He didn't even notice that I was close to being frozen dahil sa posisyon namin!

I awkwardly smiled as he gave me the plates.

"Thank you."

He just smiled. Knock it off, Imo! Ano bang nangyayari sa akin lately?! I should really have a one on one talk with myself kung bakit ako nagkaka-ganito kapag nandito si Parker. Pakiramdam ko talaga ay dahil 'to kina Kuya, e. Masyado nila akong tinutukso na may pagnanasa daw ako kay Parker.