Chapter 42

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I sit watching her move around the kitchen pulling together some dinner. I'm no better than her past abusers. When I had tapped into her dream and saw what was causing her to toss and turn, it broke my heart. I let myself get selfish because she never complained. But I was hurting her and she was to afraid to speak up.

I want her to know I love her not just because we've mated. I wanted her to know I wouldn't hurt her. But I have, and I've been so harsh and cruel towards anything that has to do with her. I took her from a shitty place to bring her right back to one.

"Kane, are you alright"

Kat runs her small hands through my hair pulling me from my subconscious. She pulls her hands away as we make eye contact and I hum in response and pull her into my lap, my large frame devouring hers.

On the table she has set a plate down for me. Some leftover streak has been warmed along with some mashed potatoes and Kay had put together a salad.

"Kitten we need to have a serious talk"

She shifts right over my bulge and I have to lean back to control myself. She doesn't need me to force my self upon her again.

"A-about what"

I grip her hips pulling her back into my lap. Fuck.
She is so tiny, I've been neglecting her weight as well. I need to be a better mate.

I hold up a forked piece of steak to her mouth but she lightly pushes it away looking at me expectantly. Once again I line up the fork with her mouth and this time she takes it chewing softly while staring at me.

She finishes, her baby blue eyes flash up at me. Wide with question.

"A-about what"

She shifts when I don't answer automatically, and I sigh. Panic flashes through her wide baby blue eyes and she pull her lip into her mouth displaying how nervous she was.

"I haven't been the best mate, I've hurt you and pushed you into mating, I've neglected your weight and I haven't let you be your own person"

Tears fill her eyes and she collapses into my chest.

"I-I thought...I-I"

She chokes on her own sob and I curl my arms all the way around her.

"You thought what baby?"

She sniffles slightly snuggling into my chest.

"I-i thought it w-was my fault, I-I thought I was being bad. I thought I-I needed a p-punishment"

She rubs her eyes with her little hands and sniffles.

"I didn't know what I was doing wrong"

She collapsed against my chest and I pet her hair trying to calm her down.

I am a terrible mate. Literally. My poor baby. She's so young yet she's seen the terrible side of the word and the terrible side of me. I've never told her the real truth about my past and all I've done is force her into things that terrify her.

I'm so used to being in charge and taking what I want but I can't be like that with Kat. She's my mate not a job.

"Kitten I have a couple things to do for us today do you want to hear them"

She hiccups before she nods her head, her hands curling into my shirt.

"Words baby"

"Yes Kane"

"Alright now if you don't want to do something I want you to tell me do you understand?"

"Yes Kane"

Fuck me she's too fucking adorable for her own good.

"First is going to feed you, then we're going to take a shower, we're going to get ready, then we're going to visit the twins for a little, and then I'm going to take you out in the forest for a run"

Her face lights up and she bubbles over with excitement.

"A-a run, really Kane! I can go outside, oh thank you Kane I love you so much you're the best mate ever."

As much that I lived that she was excited I realize how much freedom of here I've restricted and how she's never gotten any freedom before.

She thinks this is a privilege, when it's not, she should be able to do it whenever she wants and I condemn myself for ruining that when I had a chance to fix it when I first got her.

"You are too cute kitten now eat up"

She goes for the salad and I tap her hip.

"No I want you to eat some protein"

She lets out a small huff her long eyelashes fluttering. She was so precious. Stabbing the steak she picks up the smallest piece and starts working its edges.

As weird as this sounds it's fascinating watching her eat. Her she holds the fork with both hands slowly twisting it as she nibbles little pieces of the steak off.

"K-Kane"

Those baby blue eyes focus on mine and she leans her face closer to mine like she always does when she talks.

"C-can I have a pickle"

I start laughing. Hysterically, and I think I scared her because she pushes back against my lap but to be honest you would laugh too. Out of all the things she could've asked for, she asked for a pickle.

"Yes baby you can have a pickle"

And those baby blue eyes shine.

"But only after we shower"

She nods and bounces in my lap and my eyes squeeze close. She quickly stops bounce and when I meet her eyes I am met with utter terror.

"Kitten, what's wrong"

She swallows and her hands are placed against my chest as if she was getting ready to push away.

"I-I'm so-sorry I d-didn't mean t-to-o"

She quickly glances down at my lap that is currently supporting Kane Jr at attention.

"It's alright kitten it'll go away in the shower"

Clearly not the right thing to say. I didn't mean it like that but my poor baby's entire body starts to shake like I've never seen.

"K-Kane ple-"

I try to cut her off trying to make her understand that's not what I meant but she becomes hysteric.

"I'll be good I promise I didn't mean to move really I didn't, Ill stay still, my private's just got better, please don't hurt them again Kane, please, I'm really sorry"

I let her finish and I've never felt like a bigger piece of shit in my life. How the hell could I do such a thing to her.

"Kitten that's not what I mean, it'll go away on its own we won't be doing anything for a little while."

____________________________________

Kat holds my hands as we walk across the lawn to the twins place. In one hand she has mine and the other she has her pickle which she has been nibbling on since we got out of the shower.

She quickly warmed back up to me in the shower when she realized I was going to keep my word.

Kay almost trips and I have to yank her up by her arm to keep her upright.

"What are you doing silly"

She bites her lip bashfully.

"I almost dropped my pickle"

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 15, 2019 ⏰

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